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Critical Theory

A university department from which you can get a degree in being offended.
Person 1: Hey, what the hell do you think you're doing?
Person 2: Hm?
P 1: I saw that, and I'm not going to take it quietly, for your information.
P 2: I'm sorry?
P 1: Yeah, I'll make you sorry. You looked at me. As a woman of size, I know that only means one thing - you're fat shaming me!
P 2: Uhhh... No, I...
P 1: Not only that, but I have problems with my hips because of my big, beautiful, healthy size, so you're also being a filthy ableist.
P 2: Huh? What's an ableist?
P 1: Look at you, standing there in all your white male heteronormativity, judging me silently with your eyes. I'll have you know that my great-great-grandmother on my father's side was half Cherokee.

P 2: Uh, that's cool...
P 1: No, that is not "cool". You don't get to tell me that's "cool" and fetishize me as an Indigenous person of color when you are a colonizing occupier on this, my sacred tribal land!!
P 2: Look, I think you are misunderstanding this whole thing...
P 1: "You"? "YOU"??? My pronouns most pointedly do not include the word "you"!! That is a form of gendered violence against me. And don't dare tell me it's not, because I have a Master's degree in Critical Theory and I'm wise to every single microaggression coming off of your hateful, oppressive person. Now get out of here before I call the police!
P 2. Okay, okay fine. Just finish making the latte I ordered and I'll take it to go.
by McMission Definition January 14, 2018
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Coitus Procrastination

The act of thinking about football, soccer, golf, dead puppies, your mom etc etc during sexual intercourse causing a disruption in your exitement level and thus, not cumming as fast as you normally would (i.e. 1 minute)
Joe- I was about to cum while having sex with my girlfriend, but i had to resort to coitus procrastination since it had only been 45 seconds since penetration.

Mark- Awesome bro! I will start coitus procrastinating from now on!!

Pablo- Que? No el inglishh
by MrPollo2010 February 23, 2010
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Related Words

Jay Critch

A rapper from brooklyn who goes stupid hard on the tracks and does NOT have a rape charge.

Signed to rich forever under interscope, he has dropped heat such as ; Did it again, Ego, Fashion.

He is the hood fav and he signed it never declined it
jay critch yeah the whole hood love me
by LickGodLun December 21, 2018
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Coitus Coif

The hairstyle ( coiffure ) you wear after getting a proper and vigorous fucking.
Niiice coitus coif, Dude... she must've been on top this time?
by Scrappy SamCat January 28, 2009
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The Mayfair Criterion

The Mayfair Criterion, a mathematical formula dictating university life:

If funny = Do
The Mayfair Criterion: If Funny = Do
by Charlie694 April 18, 2015
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Post Coital Niggalation

The aftermath emotional state after a meaningful ten minute relationship culminating in a vigorous and twat stretching bunk up from a male of the Sambo persuation, possibly spawning niglets 9 months later. For example, Tyrone Thundercock, OG T-Dog or Tyreese Longschlong (or multiples there of) unleashing their "twelve inches a slave-ness" upon a usually drunk white/hispanic/asian lady down a dark alley or behind a 7/11 after a night out.
Becky: OMG, Stacy. I just got boned by Twelve inches a slave Tyreese! After he left me in a sloppy head I had a real Post Coital Niggalation....
Stacy: you never learn though, do you?!
by Dr. Phil Yagash-Anass September 2, 2021
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Critical Race Theory

Euphumism for "Racism"
Critical Race Theory is the study of racism.
by childleash November 1, 2022
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