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contract lesbian

A contract lesbian is a celebrity, such as a musician or actress, who must act and date as if she is a lesbian for publicity. They are also usually not allowed to date men until their contract is up, to keep it from being found out that they're not really lesbian.
Lydia: Each girl in T.A.T.U. is a contract lesbian.
Brandon: What the hell is a contract lesbian?
Lydia: You know, they acted like lesbians 'cause it said they had to in their contract, just so "All The Things She Said" would get airplay.
Tony: So they're not really lesbians, but rather they just get paid to act like they are in public?
Lydia: Exactly.
Daniel: Damn.
by Quack Quack January 30, 2006
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Contract Killer

an assassion for hire. paid to kill, and not leave a trace of evidence that can lead back to the customer.
I'm a contract killer, for my last hit i was paid $60K.
by Ric0 September 14, 2007
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Contract Killer

One who accepts money for "wetwork" or the assassination of others. A hitman. There are about 500 "gangsta" movies out there that unrealistically portray suppossed contract killers who go soft and become the good guys. Usually black ghetto homies are portrayed as the benevolent "gangstas", but everyone knows that the best of the best are usally professional white ex military/Italian mafiosos /Russian mafiosos who know what they're doing and don't pull up in front of their contract's house blaring rap music in a retarded looking "pimp-mobile" hummer H2 with lights on the bottom. Usually but not always in formal business attire. Weapon of choice is generally a silenced 9 millimeter pistol, but some of the better and more adacious (or crazy) bring out the heavy stuff, Colt Anacondas, .357s, assualt rifles, SAWs etc. The best have military connections for LAWs and RPGs, and other stuff that might be needed for the execution of their contract.
Those stupid Bloods down the street kept drawing unnecessary attention to the business matters we have been pursuing, so I had to hire a contract killer to appropriate everything below their leader's neck. I hope that now the stupid "hommie" bitches will conduct themselves with more discretion and temperance.
by Jack Death March 14, 2005
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contract bridge

trick-taking card game
"He phoned the fallen daughter in the sauna playing contract bridge" (on the song "Grounded", by Pavement)
by Gustavo Reis February 13, 2008
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Contract Adminstrator

A dedicated immoral unethical slime ball committed to fleecing the CONTRACTOR from fair and equaitable compensation. This creep is why lawyers have so much work.
Man! That Contract Adminstrator might very well be the devil!!
by Contracting God December 15, 2012
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contract warp

deviation from a marriage 'contract'...upon getting 'married-up'; the wife (or husband!) refuses to "put-out". -the 'shut-down' partner then seeks 'solace' outside the marriage. -upon discovery of the 'sin', the offending party becomes 'the devil'

usually the offending party is the self-immolating male, most of the women of the human species actually seem to be able to 'make-it' without sex!!??. (rumor has it, SOME women actually LIKE sex!!??)

when not following through on the "for better or worse" pledge, the party not fulfilling their 'obligation/s'; pretty much deserve what they get!! -while 'putting out' is not a fidelity guarantee, it certainly does lend itself to same!!
he was pumping every 'pelt' in town, because of contract warp!

contract warp had her grinding the 'poison' out of some strange!

layla helped 'soothe' kate's hell-burn of contract warp!!
by michael foolsley November 13, 2011
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contract movie

A contract movie is a movie so emasculating, that if a guy is talked into seeing it with a female (since let's face it, that's the only way), it says in writing that the guy is getting action. That way, she can either make good on the contract or said guy can sue for breach of contract. Either way, he's getting reimbursed for seeing that piece of crap.
How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
Steel Magnolias
Armageddon (yes, Armageddon...but you wouldn't think so)
by Dave Rapp July 3, 2005
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