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Crypto Guru

With the recent explosion of cryptocurrency, crypto gurus refer to those individuals that make cryptocurrencies and the various personalities/internet celebrities surrounding the medium their entire personality, often to a cringe extent. It is also common for these individuals to insert crypto into any conversation imaginable.
Person 1: I want to get into cryptocurrency, I've been hearing a lot of chatter surrounding Bitcoin and Ethereum. Do you know anyone I can talk to about crypto?
Person 2: You can talk to my friend Tim, he's a total crypto guru. He won't shut up about everything crypto, I'm sure he'd love to talk to you.

Person 3: Did you hear? The Tesla Cybertrucks are finally starting to be delivered!
Crypto Guru: OMG! Tesla, Elon Musk! Dogecoin to the moon! Elon to the moon!
by ubcsauderbcom January 31, 2022
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crypto bro

A nerd with too much spare time and video cards. Thinks he is smarter than you because he buys and resells burnt forests. Will ignore any meaningful arguments against what he does by repeating something about "serious business" 1000 times.
Person 1: I heard Jeremy bought new video cards to mine Ethereum! He says that it's serious business and that he's gonna get rich...
Person 2: Gosh, Jeremy's such a crypto bro...
by Ell22 November 9, 2021
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Crypto Power Bottom

Someone who is "bullish", bought high and always sells low and repeats the babble that some cryptobros and scam artists talk about - someone who gets fucked in the ass without any of the benefit of sex, because, you know, you are just participating in a digial ponzi scheme
by NiqqaKing March 10, 2023
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Crypto Koosh

Popular pseudonym and nickname for entrepreneur koosha azim. Often used in cryptocurrency and blockchain group chats, on LinkedIn, and sometimes on Instagram.
Koosha Azim is also known as Crypto Koosh in the world of technology!
by Dry Hacker April 4, 2019
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Crypto Zero

When speculating in cryptocurrencies and crypto assets is a perfect recipe to delayed or no retirement, bankruptcy, or even jail imprisonment, thanks to the greed, dishonesty, and irresponsibility of founders of both cryptocurrency exchanges and stablecoins.
Since the collapse of crypto exchange FTX, a number of retired folks dabbling in the crypto ecosystem and hoping to maximize their savings have gone from zero crypto to crypto zero.
by Fasters November 25, 2022
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Crypto-Retard

Someone who is so retarded that they don't know they are a retard. A person whose entire family is dumb as fuck, but they all lied to this person and told him that he is smart. In truth the person is the stupidest fuck alive.
You fucking crypto-retard; you dumb cunt. Go back to the first grade you crypto-retard. Can you even read you crypto-retard?
by YouDumbMan October 24, 2017
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Crypto Jew

1. One who has a secret adherence to Judaism while publicly professing to be of another faith; practitioners are referred to as "crypto-Jews". The term is especially applied historically to Spanish Jews who outwardly professed Catholicism
2. Someone who passes as white, proclaims they are white, yet are infact ethnically or culturally Jewish
3. Someone who is very stingy with their Bitcoin or Altcoin spending
Hey you know David is jewish right?
What? I thought he was Italian!
Yeah, he's a crypto jew.
by T.Hunter February 21, 2022
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