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Risk Assessment

A form designed by bureaucrats to waste the time of people with useful jobs
1: I need to do this work
2: Here's 4 risk assessment forms to fill out

...days later...

1. Ok I've done that
2. You filled out the wrong ones, here are the new ones

....later still....

1. Look, just tell me what to write!
2. Have you considered that blowing you nose and getting a nosebleed should be on here
1. What? I just want to weigh some stuff that is otherwise kept in the freezer
2. You're using a freezer! Here's another risk assessment to fill out
by pseuodnymphomaniac October 7, 2015
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Passenger assessment

The tendency, especially while waiting for a plane, to scan one's fellow passengers for signs of violent intention. This tends to increase after an airline incident or near incident.
Jake surreptitiously looked up and down the many aisles of chairs as he waited for his plane to arrive at the gate. Passenger assessment is an essential part of flying these days. he rationalized.
by Cirdellin December 31, 2009
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Risk Assessment

Risk Assessment is the statistical probability that someone will hurt you
So Britney left him and he is just now getting over it. Later Britney texted him and filled the text with hearts and emoji kisses. Homeboy better do a risk assessment before he breaks up with Ashley just to get back with Britney.
by Liberation Theology February 24, 2020
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District Assessment

A test to see if your teacher is doing her job and thats why they usually take it for a grade, to make sure you don't guess on it.
We will have a district assessment tomorrow!
by 'GoodLifeStudios' December 14, 2016
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hair assessment

A hair assessment is when one makes a snap judgement about a person based upon their haircut
Two girls making a hair assessment of someone's hair cut:
Girl 1: "Did you see Johnny got a ceasar cut?"

Girl 2: "Yeah, total fuckboy cut."
by PitchATent96 December 30, 2017
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First assessment curse

Refers to performing poorly or not according to your expectations in the very first academic assessment of the year
I got my academic results and I fell victim to the first assessment curse
by SirePapi April 6, 2021
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Rick assessment

Verb.

The action of scouting out a location or venue to try and pre-empt the chance that someone will play Never Gonna Give You Up
"Dude, shall we go in this club?"

"Hang on, just let me do a quick Rick Assessment"
by tinnyobeer May 13, 2024
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