jon 

man who fixes computers...and by fixes computers, i actually mean have sex with "clients"

*telephone rings*
client: i need a good fixin if you know what i mean ;)
jon: all be right over, i need to pick up some rubbers
client: see you in 5

jon by the 4th floor January 29, 2008

Jon 

A Jon is a really bad dude. He often slaps skeezers with his massive chode, while also caring for his friends and family. He has a tendency to summon mythical greek gods to aid him against haters. A Jon also pisses excellence, so much that he has created a massive flood or two. Some may blindly state that god created these floods to test Noah's Ark. One look at a real Jon could make a blind man see, a crippled child run, or a woman with a gag reflex deepthroat.

Man #1: "Hey bro, who's over there bashin out all those skeezies?"

Man #2: "That must be a Jon. You can tell by the way he's also texting his mom, telling her that he misses the family."

Jon by tumtum12 January 28, 2011

Jon 

Jon is a gift - a wonderful gift that keeps on giving!

This gift called Jon means never having to say soz!

Jon by silverdarling February 7, 2010

Jon 

To fail despite certain success, usually with respect to seducing the opposite sex.

"I was going to totally get with this girl blud, but then i totes Jon'd it!"
"Mate that girl is so in to you, don't Jon it up"
Mark was going to have "enthusiastic cuddleling" with Sarah until he called her Cindy and Jon'd it up.

Jon by MaxPowerPhysicist October 22, 2012

Jon 

A king size joint roll to be enjoyed during a long session as a personal or in a party.

Yo, I'm bout to roll a jon in dis bitch.
its been a minute since i blazed a jon son.

Jon by BlazeJonson November 27, 2011

jon 

(used mostly in massachusetts) the squad's word for alcohol, alcoholic drinks (jons), drinking (jonning), or to be drunk.

the party was crazy last night, i was so jon!

jon by squad member June 11, 2006

Jon 

A faggot that steals everyones food

Mom: a made a pizza!

*jon eats it all*

Jon by Motherfing true August 19, 2013