Turd Burglar

Someone who steals your shit to make themselves look better to others.
Jim: "Jesus Dan. Did John just take your iPhone to show to his girlfriend?"

Dan: "Yea. He's a turd burglar."
by A Time Walker July 31, 2013
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Turd burglar

Hey Roy! The toilet is full in the port a pot, think you can wave down the turd burglars when they drive by to empty it for us?
by Motosaki410 June 05, 2019
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Turd Burglar

Male homosexual who engages in anal sex.
Kevin Spacey, recently arrested for sexual harrassment of young men is a notorious Turd Burglar, as is former House Speaker and wrestling coach Dennis Hastert.
by Mike From Akron January 24, 2018
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Turd Burglar

This type of turd burglar is the type that happends in nursing homes. When a resident lets everything come out right in the eating area, in front of everyone and not caring about other people eating or Anything and after they finish thier business they just walk away.....
Turd Burglar: oops I have to use the bathroom...
Nurse: No wait ill take you to the bathroom
Turd Burglar: no im going right here right now
by FUNTIME! October 23, 2019
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turd burglar

a funny insult which could be used when someone is/was being a dick, usually in a non-serious manner (also see turgle for further details).
mike: *steals jenny's phone*
jenny: give it back you turd burglar
by eminemanemone December 13, 2018
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Turd burglar

An individual who has the annoying habit of making a scene outside the stall while you’re trying pop a deuce in order to get you to hurry up. Turd Burglars show up typical when you’re in public bathroom in a busy location and someone very impatient shows up and decides to interrupt your shitting session.
>You: answering nature’s call in a public bathroom like a normal person

> Turd burglar: “ Hurry up mister I need to go, I NEED TO GO!!!” X 50 on loop until you finish pushing your slimy turd
by Thicke Henry Richard September 09, 2020
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turd burglar

Someone who simply steals your poop. You could be taking a nice dump, not knowing what’s hiding in your shower, or under your sink… as soon as you stand up from the toilet and turn away for a second… your turd will be gone because the turd burglar took it. You will not catch them… nor see them.. unless they’re over 34 years of age. They are either assigned to a person at the age of 6, or placed into a house when built, and will steal everyone’s turds that ever lives there.
Frank - “Yo… I just took a shit, and when I turned around to flush… it wasn’t there”

Marlo- “oh, it was probably the turd burglar
by Stinkletoot May 27, 2024
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