hickory jesus 

A wooden baton used to beat a protester to a near death experience

I showed that protestor some hickory Jesus

hickory jesus by double d 5129 December 6, 2013

dating Jesus 

1. A Christian who's not dating because they are waiting for God to reveal their spouse. Made popular by the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris
2. A Christian who's not dating for one of the following reasons; intensely in love with God, fear relationships, fear intimacy, dating is just to much work, socially awkward, etc.

Don't bother asking her out, she's "dating Jesus".

dating Jesus by linuxgrl January 12, 2009

y'all bitches need jesus 

Thy Lord is testing me; You're retarded; Stupid, ratchet; Get religious help

Bernice: Put down the Starbucks or you'll be sorry!
Basic White Girl: (drinks Starbucks and sticks tongue out at Bernice)
Bernice: (walks away, and comes back with chancla)
Basic White Girl: What are you gonna do with tha-
Bernice: (smacks Basic White Girl with chancla repeatedly)
Basic White Girl: Aaaahhhh! (drops Starbucks)
Random stripper walking by: Y'all bitches need Jesus!

y'all bitches need jesus by Frocoochie Q. Lottaweave June 6, 2014

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

A Church founded in 1830 by Joseph Smith, Jr., and often nicknamed "The Mormon Church". The Church is headquartered in Salt Lake City, Utah, yet has followers worldwide.

Members follow the teaching of Joseph Smith, and believe in modern day Prophets and revelation. They believe in the Holy Bible and also in The Book of Mormon. The Church's Missionaries are one of it's most recognized traits, along with it's large temples topped with a golden angel. The Church is considered Christian by many as the members have a strong belief in Jesus Christ.

Mormons are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints by jakelow November 14, 2009

Orange Jesus 

Nickname for Donald Trump. Applicable since the launch of his campaign to run for the American presidency. The name references both his iconic, tanned skin-tone (orange) and the fact that his most adamant supporters blindly refuse to acknowledge or admit to even his most obvious shortcomings. Their stance toward Mr. Trump is almost one of unquestioned worship of a divine being (Jesus).

- Q) Did you hear the Donald Trump audiotape where he described grabbing women by the.. genitals?
- A) Yeah. It won't matter. Orange Jesus can do no wrong in the eyes of his supporters. They'll insist it's just a character attack by his opponents.

Orange Jesus by LeighRay October 4, 2018

Fuck Jesus 

An exclamation indicating displeasure or surprise. See also God Damn it, God Damn Motherfucking Shitty Fucking Shit Fuckers, Jesus Tapdancing Christ, Fucking A, Holy Jesus on a Stick, etc.

Fuck Jesus, she's got a fat ass!

Fuck Jesus by Tom December 16, 2004

the jesus game

A game in which your opponent picks a random word and you must use a chain of words to connect it to jesus. Whoever fails to make a chain to jesus loses (and will probably go to hell, just saying)

The Jesus Game

Opponent: Pandas
You: Pandas... bamboo... wood... cross... jesus!!

You: Roses
Opponent: roses... thorns... piercing... nails... jesus!!

the jesus game by Charles M. May 17, 2008