wake up lieutenant

A phrase used to wake up your drunken human sidekick after you have returned from the dead yet again.

Connor: "Wake up Lieutenant!" *slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap*

by 28StabWounds February 10, 2019

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shake n’ wake

In the early morning hours you shake your mans cock resulting in him waking up for a pleasant surprise. It’s always a great way to start his day with a shake n’ wake.

My boy Dave had the best day ever when his girl Steph rolled over at the crack ass of dawn and grabbed him by the cock. She began shakin’ his dick so hard it woke him up with a nice jerkoff session, and then he jizzed on her face. A classic shake n’ wake.

by spideyskin May 10, 2021

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wake and bake rape

When one wakes up another and forces them to toke it up

Another example is to feel someone up until they awake, and then force them to smoke pot

Past tense: Woke and boke raped

"I think that I might wake and bake rape my boyfriend today"

by Verbcttjt August 20, 2009

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JESSE WAKE UP

An allusion to Breaking Bad when Walter White breaks into Jesse Pinkman's place to wake him up.
Having consumed an excessive amount of hallucinogenic munchies given to him by Jesse, Walter desperately punches through Jesse's door. He then proceeds to frantically shake Jesse, who is knocked out, because he is coveting Kentucky Fried Chicken like a Catholic priest yearns children, but is himself afraid of acquiring it due to his high.

This line is often used hysterically as a mild inside joke in superior friend groups or in the crack-addicted Breaking Bad community. For instance, when your friend is dead asleep at 3 AM you may scare the life out of them by yelling the three magic words in intermittent order. Doing this after having set their house on fire enhances the experience. As a diehard Breaking Bad fan, it is unlikely that they will be upset at you for committing arson.

There are 27 three-word sentences in which you can yell any of these three words, but the most common are:
• "Jesse Wake Up."
• "Wake Up Jesse."
• "Jesse Jesse Jesse."

Some contemporary parents name their child -- or sometimes all of their children -- "Jesse" so that they can traumatise them with "JESSE WAKE UP!" every morning of their lives. Conveniently, the name is unisexual.

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"The group assignment was due yesterday night Jesse!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"The Barbie movie Jesse! THE BARBIE MOVIE IS IN CINEMAS JESSE!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"We need to hit the gym Jesse!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"JESUS Jesse! Jesus died for our sins Jesse!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"It's sunrise Jesse! We didn't eat before the fast Jesse!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"Kanye Jesse! Kanye tweeted something Jesse!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"We slept through the entire Flash movie Jessie!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"My mum said we can have a sleepover Jesse! SHE SAID YES JESSE!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"Maccas Jesse! Maccas has a new sundae flavour Jesse!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"Santa Claus Jesse! SANTA IS A BLACK JEW JESSE!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"My memory Jesse! I HAVE MEMORY LOSS JESSE!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"My mum Jesse! She told me to wash the dishes Jesse! I FORGOT TO WASH THE DISHES JESSE!"

"Jesse. JESSE. JESSE! JESSE WAKE UP!"
"Mmmuhhh-wwhat?"
"My memory Jesse! I HAVE MEMORY LOSS JESSE!"

by bradleysheadissick July 15, 2023

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