Snow ticket

An oblong snowball used use for wiping your asshole after taking a shit in the woods when there is no toilet paper.

That snow ticket was charmin soft.

by The Slane April 1, 2017

Speeding Ticket

(NOUN): A summons issued to a coworker or employee when they screw up a task because of task saturation. Or a summons your spouse issues to you for screwing something up even though you are managing a thousand things correctly.

e.g., 1) My boss keeps giving me more sh*t to do just so he can give me a speeding ticket for messing up a task. 2) My wife is always giving me speeding tickets when I screw up and when I give her a speeding ticket, she always figures out how to turn it around and issue the speeding ticket back at me.

by Barely Managing February 13, 2023

ate a ticket

getting busted by pigs

Thanks for coming out to the cornhole tournament. It was a blast!! Unfortunately the cops were not intrigued by my bag hucking skills and so I ate a ticket. Venmo is @huckbags and the digits are 42069

by 69loverneverdoer November 8, 2021

Jizz Tickets

A plain, simple, preferably cheap although not too cheap or it sticks to the skin roll of toilet paper cleverly hidden in one's room for usage of cleaning up one's mess proceeding a successful wanking.

"Where has internet porn been all my life?! . . . Also, where are the Jizz Tickets?. . ."

by adem g September 8, 2013

ticket insurance

The one car going faster than you when you're speeding on the freeway. The general idea is that you can go as fast as you want as long as the other guy is going faster, that way if a cop sees you both speeding he will pull over the other guy and not you.

Wow, I'm going 80 in the fast lane and this jackass just zoomed past me. Ticket insurance!

by The 5th Floor December 17, 2012

ticket taker

Someone who sells their freedom, morals, independence, soul, etc. in exchange for material wealth and worldly pleasures. (In other words, a sellout of the worst degree.) These people are typically lapdogs of the dark overlords that run the media and entertainment industry.

Ben Shapiro is often hailed as a prodigy, but he’s really just another ticket taker. He sold himself to the media industry and now he’s a spineless cuck who only does what (((they))) tell him to.

by EliteNinja26 July 29, 2023

Timber ticket

A rag, pillowcase or blanket used to mop up semen.

Mom found the timber ticket

by Muthaphukker January 19, 2022