In good faith everybody knows someone named Jared, in such cases this would be that one friend who always makes "funny" jokes and even pokes fun at himself to fit in, but in all reality we all really like Jared and appreciate the "comedy" he bring to our lifes.
Jared Van Houten: Man my math class is hard and I dont want to take this test.
Me: Jared, give me 10 dollars and I will get you an A on that test.
Jared Van Houten: I will give you 20 dollars for a B.
Me: Jared, give me 10 dollars and I will get you an A on that test.
Jared Van Houten: I will give you 20 dollars for a B.
by John Brokowski May 20, 2011
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Jared Fogel, of Subway diet fame, lost 245 lbs in one year eating Subway fare. Lots of rumors about AIDS, coke, bypass surgery, but he apparently did it honestly.
Fat Bastard, to Austin Powers: "I went on the Subway diet, like Jared and lost 180 pounds. Unfortunately, now my neck looks like a vagina."
by Dr. Dutch Evil April 18, 2006
Get the Jared mug.by Super Nigger Faggot September 22, 2018
Get the Jared mug.When the male partner dips his nose into a tub of guacamole and then proceeds to rub and poke his nose into the female's rim. The action of rubbing and poking is akin to that of anal fisting-albeit with a nose.
Boy 1: Hey you gut any guacamole?
Boy 2: Huh? Eating some salsa?
Boy 1: Nah man, going to Dirty Jared my girl.
Boy 2: Huh? Eating some salsa?
Boy 1: Nah man, going to Dirty Jared my girl.
by SLAPPY BAG April 1, 2012
Get the Dirty Jared mug."My boyfriend pulled a Jared last night; needless to say he got my sheets all wet and I still got nothing out of it."
by Gerch December 31, 2007
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