The bizarre act seen in many porn films whereby a distinguished gentleman or gracious lady with strap-on, grips the base of the phallus and lightly taps it upon the meaty buttock-flesh of a partner presenting themselves by resting on the knees and hands (or elbows (...or face)). The most likely explanation for this phenomenon was offered by Professor Archibald Knobblyknackers of Christ College, Oxford, who theorised that the action was originally designed to test the hollowness of the awaiting bung-hole after the disastrous attempt by a disoriented Ron Jeremy to sodomise a helpless-yet-impenetrable Venus De Milo prop, which resulted in an imploded bellend and the brief resurrection of Michelangelo Batio for vengeance, who was given licence to murder twelve pigeons after a hazardous filing error and accidental double-lifing on account of the fact he wasn’t dead in the first place. Thus, dick tamping was subsequently invented as a safety precaution to ensure adequate space for a ram-passage, or to check for cockroaches or something.
‘Always precede any acts of quadrapedal intercourse with thorough dick tamping. If you are not sure whether it is safe to proceed, do not risk entry under any circumstances and contact your appointed fire official, where the offending buttocks will be taken away to be incinerated’ – the Porn Safety Handbook
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Get the Dick confetti mug.It's like when you get shortchanged, only worse!!!
Somebody (usually a guy) fuqs you, you went into sex thinking you'd come a bunch, he'd come, everyone would be satisfied, it'd be awesome!!!
Then he comes really quickly and then falls asleep. The next morning he wakes up and does it again. At some point you might have told him that you would have liked to have come more than you did
You now know better than to bang him again, but your blood boils because you got short dicked. If you get shortchanged and some cashier shorts you $5 out of your change from a $20, you can usually go to an ATM and pull out more money. When you get short dicked, you can never get that portion your night back. And there is no adequate refund for sexual disappointment
Guys who will short dick a girl are fond of saying stuff like, "Did you come?" because they are unaware that most women are multi-orgasmic and can't think of more relevant questions like, "Did you come as hard as you wanted to?" or "Are you feeling satisfied? Or do you want more?"
A guy doesn't have to premature ejaculate to short dick you. Some can pull it off lasting a long time and just having the inverse of bedroom skill
Somebody (usually a guy) fuqs you, you went into sex thinking you'd come a bunch, he'd come, everyone would be satisfied, it'd be awesome!!!
Then he comes really quickly and then falls asleep. The next morning he wakes up and does it again. At some point you might have told him that you would have liked to have come more than you did
You now know better than to bang him again, but your blood boils because you got short dicked. If you get shortchanged and some cashier shorts you $5 out of your change from a $20, you can usually go to an ATM and pull out more money. When you get short dicked, you can never get that portion your night back. And there is no adequate refund for sexual disappointment
Guys who will short dick a girl are fond of saying stuff like, "Did you come?" because they are unaware that most women are multi-orgasmic and can't think of more relevant questions like, "Did you come as hard as you wanted to?" or "Are you feeling satisfied? Or do you want more?"
A guy doesn't have to premature ejaculate to short dick you. Some can pull it off lasting a long time and just having the inverse of bedroom skill
He thought nothing when he short dicked me the night before, but then I told all my friends and all the girls on the scene just how lame he was in bed and just how unsatisfied I was. Bet he wishes he made an effort now!!!
by SFKitten June 25, 2018
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