Felon's Tree Removal

A colloquial term for an arborist from upstate NY or other back woods place who employs felons, particularly, registered sex offenders.

He first verifies that they are indeed registered sex offenders - or at a minimum convicted felon - and then he gives them unsupervised access to chainsaws and wood chippers. Sometimes accidents happen and there end up fewer felons than they started with, so it's not all bad.

Other times - well, felons with chainsaw... The possibilities are endless, and some aren't so great.

Bro "Brah, where can I get a job? I just I'm on parole, so nobody's gonna hire me."
Brah "Bro, go work for Felon's Tree Removal. They'll hire ya. They literally only hire felons."
Bro "Nah, Bra, they won't let me do anything. I'm a felon."
Bra "The hell they won't! You'll get your own chainsaw, wood chipper, shit, you'll probably get your own shotgun to protect you from choopacobras and parole officers."

by Double take July 10, 2025

Tree Climbin

Stacking your bread or stacking money.

I just been tree climbin my way to the top

by MG Lingo October 10, 2022

tree

its a thing you plant it is phase 2 of plant seed

hey dan i’m gonna go plant some trees, i’m gonna be out for a bit

by probablypeenuts June 3, 2024

fell far from the tree

It means that you're not like ur parents!

I fell far from the tree, I'm not like you.

by Pipe_Brazil November 21, 2016

tree

weed

you had the tree

by loolygag November 22, 2017

Plant my tree in her forest

Have sexual intercourse with her

She sexually turns me on. I want to plant my tree in her forest

by Plato Disciple December 26, 2014

Tree branching

When you’re having a conversation or telling a story and get off topic.

I keep tree branching and forgot what I wanted to say.

by Choxy January 19, 2025