Lasagne Fuck Offer

When your spouse knows you’ve eaten too much lasagne and knows you won’t say yes to sex, but offers it like they’re keen

Spouse: touches your belly “do you want a fuck?
You: “goddammit I’ve eaten way too much lasagne, get your hand off my belly”
Spouse: “don’t say I never offer”
You thinking: shit, I just got the lasagne fuck offer

by GingerPubes115 February 26, 2019

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Fuck ton

Term of measurement describing a large quantity of a singular item. See also: fuck load

The Captain has a fuck ton of hoodies.

by Denise.Jean17 February 27, 2024

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fuck a monkeys bleeding butthole

Phrase spoken in times of shock, awe or disbelief, started by a man in middle tn after he witnessed another man witness the brutal gang rape of a female monkey by several males... He watched indifferently but offered no aid to the helpless monkey or her bleeding butthole....

Well fuck a monkeys bleeding butthole... I just shit my pants again for god sakes... Never trust a fart....

by Eviljay666 February 10, 2023

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any fucking word

Any fucking word.

Hey, this book has almost any fucking word!
Really?

by chickenwithsunglasses July 14, 2022

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Fuck up

It wasn't a mistake for you, you were jealous because more attractive women than you ever could have pulled showed up thinking you were me, so you lied and raped them. You thought you were better and now that it us clear that you are not you want to call it a mistake but it ISN'T that.

Hym "It's not a fuck up. You didn't fuck up, you kids yourself and got a bunch of people's kids killed with you. It's over."

by Hym Iam December 18, 2025

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