Commander John

Someone who spends too much time on the toilet.

Are you still in there?...OMG...what is taking you so long, Commander John?

by KoDeCKS April 2, 2009

John Gibson

An athletic goaltender who will never let you down. Arguably the best goalie in the NHL.

Jee man, you played like a John Gibson last night!

by seergebeer January 22, 2022

John Bigballs

A Bojack Horseman wannabee. Always mixes Vicodin with his Vodka. Hates the life, but loves fortnite.

John Bigballs cries himself to sleep.

by Fortnite Clownface March 3, 2020

John Persse

A best friend. A boyfriend. Someone who loves his best friend (as a best friend) and feels the need to tell her many many many times when he's black out drunk. He loves a hazy IPA, expensive sushi (even if its not great quality, as long as it's expensive and the ambience is hip), and a swish Patagonia clothing item.

Note from John: "I have a nice butt. It's not too big, it's not to small, but it's kind of nice and perky and people like looking at it."

A classic John knock knock joke:

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there"

"A big dicked, sexy man"

"Oh, come on in John Persse!!!"

by Poobumhead123404 March 11, 2020

John Cina

John Cena but the Malaysian cina version. He is a paid actor and likes to buat drama in whatsapp group chats.
When he nothing better to do he will bully newbies in the chat room

Wah this John Cina so kao lan. Simply send Chico KKB picture in that chat again.

by Cinacinacina October 16, 2021

John Dolmayan

The drummer of System of a Down, who joined in 1997, after Andy Kachturian left fude to an injury. He has a way of playing the high-hat extremely fast, and uses the kick quite well. However, even though he seems like a good man, he never smiles. But, he still is a happy person. Although, he seems like he’s a pervert , his favorite movie is Taboo 2, a film about sexual assault

Person 1: Dude, who’s your favorite drummer?

Person 2: Lars.

Person 1: What the fuck did you just say? We all know John Dolmayan is the true king.

by Suite-Pee May 18, 2021

John Mayer

A very talented musician. Girls like his lyrics, and guys like his insane guitar skills. Guys pretend to like his lyrics so they can get laid, and girls pretend to appreciate his guitar skills to impress her guy friends. He is surprisingly good live, rips off a lot of Hendrix, and many have said that he does Jimi justice. A lot of people are ashamed to say they like him, (mainly because of his terrible mainstream pop songs that in no way show his talent, i.e. Waiting on the World to Change, Your Body Is a Wonderland, etc.) especially "hardcore" Hendrix fans who won't admit he's a sick guitarist.

Don't be jealous cause you know John Mayer is better than you.

by Klephmeh January 10, 2008