Useless at best, causing severe damage at worst. Similar to saying, "As much use as a bull in a china shop."
Guy 1: Damn it... My sister ruined my school project again.

Guy 2: Wow. She's as much use as a hedgehog in a condom factory.
by Ur waifu June 07, 2016
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To wish pain upon someone the next time they attempt to excrete faeces from their body.
Person One: Nacho Novo stamped on someone again in the game on Saturday
Person Two: Can't stand that wee rat. I hope his next shite's a hedgehog.
by Anonymous Chrysanthemum May 26, 2009
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I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog-fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was "THIS BIG," and I said "that's disgusting," so I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you've got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like.

That's right, baby. All points, no quills, no pillows — look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the Earth. That's right, this is what you get: MY SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth, I'm gonna go higher; I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! How do you like that, Obama?! I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT!

You have twenty-three hours before the piss D R O P L E T S hit the fucking Earth, now get outta my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!
shadow the hedgehog is a bitchass mf
by sonicfootlicker August 25, 2022
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Gassing the Hedgehog

A kinky sex act where one partner, after eating a gas-inducing meal (think beans or broccoli), unleashes a prolonged, intentional fart while the other partner is curled up in a tight, defensive position—mimicking a hedgehog’s spiky ball—during oral or anal play. The “gassing” is the pungent release, meant to tease or dominate the “hedgehog,” who’s either reluctantly into it or playfully protesting the stench. Requires trust, a twisted sense of humor, and probably a safe word.
“Last night got wild—Jake was gassing the hedgehog while Sarah was all curled up, giggling and yelling for him to stop before she passed out.”
by Nasty Ninja April 30, 2025
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New Hampshire Hedgehog

The act of when a man rubs a ballon on his genitals, making his public hair stand straight up and pointy.
Judy: Why is Mike's wife wearing an eye patch?
Billy: Mike accidentally poked her in the eye with his New Hampshire Hedgehog last night when she was sucking him off.
Judy: Oh my!
Billy: yes.
by Fat Dirty Jew August 01, 2023
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