tragedy massage

a massage without happy ending - sometimes you just want that but not much options at 5 am in the morning...

Tired and sore after getting out of work around 5am.
See a bright sign flashing "MASSAGE".
I pull up and inquire within....
Madame: Hello, you want massage?
Me: Yes.
Madame: $100 okay?
Me: Uhhh... How much for just a massage? Like, only a massage? I don't need anything else.
Madame: Only massage?
Me: Yes. I want a tragedy massage.
Madame: A what?
Me: A massage without a happy ending.
Madame: No happy ending.
Me: Correct. Can I have just a massage? Nothing else. No happy ending.
Madame: ....... No.

(credit: CH)

by pseuDonym_name_001 May 19, 2015

head massager

A little thing that's used to massage your head.It's better then life it's better than sex.
Best if someone else uses it on you.

Dude (insert_name_here) just bought a head massager its the best thing ever!

headmassagesexpleasurerelaxationnirvananohomomassage

by Kapronca August 2, 2016

NHS MASSAGE

When you fake somthing to get felt up /a rub by the doctor....

"Doctor I think I've got a hernia "- nhs massage

by James Sandoe September 5, 2018

Monkey Massage

The act of picking foreign substances off of another's back, much like a monkey.

Hey man could you give me a monkey massage?

by Garfibromyalgia May 18, 2021

text massage

When someone texts you (especially someone hot) when your phone is on vibrate. The vibrations give you a "massage".

I got a text massage from Cindy. It felt amazing.

by saltyconfetti August 7, 2011

front massage

Hi chance.A front massage is when a male, or mostly a female wants the front of her body massaged sexually or non-sexually. She wants her breasts,nips,thighs and kitty massage to have an orgasm or feel happy. Make you you use your tongue.

Me:I sure do wish somebody can front massageme.
Guys:I can do it.Would you like whip cream or caramel?
Me:Both.

by BigBootyQueen1906 March 9, 2016

Indian Scalp Massage

When you spread peanut butter over your partner's hair and roll your dick around their hair until you cum all over the top of their head and let your semen drip down their face.

I was giving my girl the Indian scalp massage last night with "extra creamy peanut butter."

by Milan the dude April 22, 2015