Family Office

An office (real or metaphorical) in which the wealth of a family or families is managed. Contrary to what JD says, a family office does not require $100M. And M stands for one million.

Yeah, he hit his FU number and now just runs his $10M family office.

by FFJD May 19, 2023

Family onion

A large round butt that is passed on through generations.

"Damn she got the family onion!"
"I want to harvest her family onion."

by Fake mountain August 16, 2017

homemade family

A family that is associated with a close bond, and seemingly high morals. For example, they may be vegetarian or own a family pet account, or coddle their children. They are referred to as 'homemade' as this word also has implications that if someone endorses homemade products, they are ethically superior to the norm.

'Ben's mum came to watch him at sports day'
'They're such a homemade family'

by sprinklyflaps November 28, 2021

Family Life

A cruel and unusual punishment for children and teens, grades 4-9, in which a fat hospital nurse will come to your class and teach you about sex using various objects, including a banana and a condom.

Alex: "I can't wait until gym class!"
John: "SYKE! We have family life today"
Alex: "This sucks, that fat hoe teaches what I learned in the locker room!"

by PT4BB November 9, 2006

The Family Circus

A seriously douchey and unfunny family-oriented comic strip drawn by octogenarian cartoonist Bil Keane. The strip centers around a fat little fuck named Billy and his three equally piggish younger siblings as they share unremarkable childish insight and tromp around their all-white, middle class, God-fearing suburbia. It also features two parents that are even more bland than their kids and usually fade into the woodwork.

Highlights of the strip include special extra-shitty-artwork "Drawn by Billy" days, and cameos by creepy ghostly apparitions of dead grandparents and pranksters. On weekdays, the strip is usually limited to one round panel of treacly shit, though this may be split into two halves for extra-profound occasions. Weekend strips may feature multiple panels of warm gooey shit, or a full-panel expose on the children's autistic romps through their backyard.

The Family Circus has been in continuous production for over 40 years, yet inexplicably remains the most widley syndicated comic strip in the world. Likely supported by nostalgic grandparents who crave wholesome, meaningless fluff in their funnies. See Peanuts.

ACTUAL SAMPLE DIALOUGE FROM RECENT STRIPS OF THE FAMILY CIRCUS (SERIOUSLY):
Billy: Would it be against the rules to put two kinds of cereal in one bowl? (5/30/06)
Dolly: The rainbow is Mother Nature's way of saying she's sorry for the bad storm. (5/17/06)
Jeffy: Know what Daddy? I could pick up this rock if it wasn't so heavy. (5/16/06)
P.J.: *shits self*
Reader: *vomits*

by Compdude September 1, 2008

offend the family

verb

to take an extreme shit. then after the event, a family is offended by the resulting odor

i'm going home to offend the family

by papa squat March 18, 2005

Modern Family

a sitcom on abc which is absolutely hilarious. it's about 3 families, all somehow linked -- and their modern situations. one family is this rich, old guy who has a hot colombian wife who has a chubby son. the rich old guy has 2 kids, a daughter who is a mother with a family (family number two) and a gay son with a partner and adopted chinese daughter (family number three)

this show is brilliant.

I love modern family because it's realistically hilarious.

by maanster June 14, 2010