Contrafibulations

A satirical remark of congratulations directed at a person for a work they have completed on a subject that may be deemed pointless, confusing or unnecesary by the speaker

"My greatest contrafibulations on your new dictionary, Mr. Johnson"

by Jabberwacky February 4, 2008

contrabution

The contribution of ass for the purpose of creating world peace.

A healthy dose of contrabution makes the world go round.

by Sir Knows Alot December 9, 2004

Walking contradiction fiend

- a genuine drug fiend who says they won't have any drugs

- snorts copious amounts of class A's and then declares it hardly happens

- at 6pm on a Friday the fiending starts despite it being just a casual drink

Often says things like:

"nooo, i'm being good this weekend, no drugs for me!"

"I think i'll just go for a walk at the weekend and get an early night"

"Nah I have no money anyway, you go ahead though I won't have any"

"I'm a professional, I don't even do drugs"

- you can recognise a WCF when at 7am they are carpet surfing and looking under things for more drugs

-they can become angry and distressed unless provided with drugs quickly, despite saying they didn't need more

- more fiendish than any type of fiend, because at the end of the day, they know they are a mess

- they will snort anything

- quite often come across as very professional people who work hard and earn money in a respectful way, however weekends ruin them

- might dress as animals when high wired

"Woah, look at that guy who said he wouldn't do drugs, now he is scuttling round, he is a walking contradiction fiend!"

"I thought he was really professional, I would never have known he was such a contradiction!"

"he said he would be good at the weekend and do no drugs, now he is licking the table and floor for leftovers"

by OncaPardus August 14, 2012

Forever Contract

An infinitely long contract that is thought to be 99.9% filler. The contract can only be written by the all-powerful deity known as the Filler God.

Filler God: "If you want me to resurrect Jonny, you must sign my Forever Contract with your blood."
Jack: "Yes! Sure! Anything to revive Jonny!"

by emkay1 April 24, 2021

Mother-in-law's Contracture

When a person's lips grant a facial expression of sadness when at rest or even when expressing joy. The lips fail to reach a horizontal orientation even when the person is attempting to smile.

Husband: Your mother looks looks so pissed off right now.

Wife: Nope, she is smiling.
Husband: Yeah, but she has a huge frown; it looks like an upside down U, like the old dude in Up.
Wife: Oh, that's because hse has the mother-in-law's contracture.

by MILFwithMILcontracture January 11, 2011

Contraception

Always use contraception. There are different types.

Use ribbed for extra sensations
Use flavoured for oral pleasure!

by hayley! October 28, 2004

Social Contract

The unwritten, unspoken rules of polite society. It's what keeps you from laughing or commenting on bodily functions that happen in public and ignoring homeless/smelly people until you can escape their visual/audible range.

May also apply to catching someone doing something inappropriate in public, in which both parties act like nothing happened and/or nothing was seen.

I went into the bathroom to wash my hands just as David was flushing the toilet. His shit stunk so bad, it was all I could think about. I tried to hold my breath and ignore it as the social contract keeps me from acknowledging the fact that his shit smell was suffocating me.

by YouStinkLikeShit January 29, 2012