Let me fall into the koi pond

The failure on a friend's part to step in and prevent a terrible situation from happening. In most instances, the friend not only fails to prevent the situation from happening, but makes an observable effort not to help. This is an allusion to The Office Episode where Jim leans back and allows Michael Scott to fall into a koi pond.

Dude I can't believe you didn't do anything back there. Way to let me fall into the koi pond, "friend"

by TRL0 November 11, 2009

Move slower than pond water

The way a lazy person moves to do anything.
Because pond water barely moves.

"Hand me that board."
(Lazily moving)
"Man you move slower than pond water."

by Essej snosrap June 30, 2016

fishing in your own pond

Dating people from your decade

Jennifer didn't want to flirt with men her own age, because you're not a cougar anymore when you're fishing in your own pond.

by Cupcake1010 April 21, 2017

Getting your nuts out of the pond

Getting your nuts out of the pond refers to the act of losing your virginity or having sexual intercorse. This phrase is typically used by sexually active men in an attempt to frustrate and mess with younger men.

Gino: Now that you transferred out of that all-boys school, you need to talk to chicks and start getting your nuts out of the pond.

Jake: Ok! I know! Leave me alone.

by ScepticalSapien August 25, 2021

restocking the porcelain pond w/ brown trout

squeezing out a fat one, taking a dump, releasing your bowels

Sorry i was late for school, i was busy restocking the porcelain pond w/ brown trout.

by Stromboni<miller> June 1, 2006

busier than a cat trying to bury a turd on a frozen pond

A phrase your grandparent might use to describe being busy with a futile, impossible, or endless task.

Cats like to cover their feces, but if they've done their business on a frozen pond, no matter how long they try to dig up something to cover it with, their paws will always slide on the ice. The joke is the mental image of a cat making the digging motion on ice for a long time.

I don't know why I keep weeding that garden. I've been busier than a cat trying to bury a turd on a frozen pond, but I tell you what, there's gonna be just as many dandelions tomorrow.

by Coell June 13, 2006

pond sausage

When you take a dump in your pond during a barbecue because it’s closer than the toilet. Or when you get ash on your Sausage during a barbecue so you give it a rinse in your pond.

Dude you totally just pond sausaged

by Brett matthewson September 19, 2020