Jared

Jared is obsessed with bath bombs

Jared: Shit bath bombs taste good

by EvanHandSoap August 13, 2018

Jared

Jared is a very outgoing person. He tries often to make people notice him and goes to great lengths to do so. On his off time, Jared usually finds himself sleeping or reading a book, or both at the same time. Jared works out often so its no surprise that he's a player.

Did you see that new kid Jared? He seems really smart but he's kinda loud..

by Napoleon Dynamight March 25, 2019

Poopy Jared

hahajajajahaha poopy jared

jared: yo
me: haha poopy jared hahajajahaha

by hahapoopyjared December 23, 2020

jared

A male of the mentally challenged variety who enjoys showing up thirty minutes late to everything, crying while masturbating, killing homeless people because he is protected under the Second Class Citizen Law, and trying to bone highschool girls.

Jordan: Hey, i thought your friend was going to be here by now.
Jay: Yeah, it’s Jared so he’ll be 30 minutes late as usual.

by wewuzanonymous October 4, 2018

Jareding

When you fuck up something beyond belief.

Bob: Man, I can't believe you punched and killed my baby!
Joe: What man it wouldn't stop fucking crying, I needed to shut it up.
Bob: My wife's gonna kill me now, thanks for Jareding my life.

by SnailEatingManRabbit September 10, 2010

Jared

An oustanding everything. He can literally do what ever he wants when he wants.

That guy is so cool. He must be a jared

by Kid in the box January 29, 2015

Jared Van Houten

In good faith everybody knows someone named Jared, in such cases this would be that one friend who always makes "funny" jokes and even pokes fun at himself to fit in, but in all reality we all really like Jared and appreciate the "comedy" he bring to our lifes.

Jared Van Houten: Man my math class is hard and I dont want to take this test.
Me: Jared, give me 10 dollars and I will get you an A on that test.
Jared Van Houten: I will give you 20 dollars for a B.

by John Brokowski May 20, 2011