crumpet strumpet

UK old woman who sits around eating crumpets and flirting excessively online in chatrooms with anyone who will talk to her.

The crumpet strumpet was overly aggressive in chat.

by Goonie's Revenge September 23, 2023

Crumpet

The art of falling asleep when you have a obligation, like to do a destiny 2 raid or schoolwork

Hey man I totally just pulled a crumpet in my statistics class

by liTTLEMAN545 November 21, 2019

buttery crumpet

When you slab that butter on the crumpet and it melts all the way through to the plate.

That was such a buttery crumpet I licked the plate afterwards.

by anonymous August 18, 2022

crumpet dodger

A man who avoids women; typically because he is a homosexual.

"Hey Jamie, you massive crumpet dodger"

by Joni-K July 6, 2016

Crumpeting

The act of a woman or person with a clitoris masturbating while laying face down.

Named after Netflix's Sex Education character Aimee, who is shown doing this in Season 1. Afterwards, she tells friends: “I’ve been wanking all night; I ate four packets of crumpets, and I think my clit might drop off."

Crumpeting is the preferred masturbation position of many people because it puts pleasurable weight and pressure on the genitals. There is also a feminist element to the celebration of crumpeting, in that a lot of porn designed to cater to the male gaze shows women wanking on their backs, legs splayed wide so that men can see everything; in reality, plenty of women prefer touching themselves in ways that are less about performing for others and more about genuinely pleasuring themselves.

"Crumpeting is my favourite way to reach orgasm. I like to lay on top of my vibrator with the duvet pulled over me, all cosy."

by CanCanOfWorms September 26, 2023

Wet Crumpet

A Crumpet soaked in Tea

Man i love Wet Crumpets for Breakfast

by Spilled April 28, 2019