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British Crumpet Clapper

When a British man nuts between a British girl's ass and she twerks it up her back
Man: I just gave me girlfriend a British Crumpet Clapper
Other man:Wtf is wrong with you
by anonymous May 14, 2021
mugGet the British Crumpet Clappermug.

Crumpet Moment

When an individual attempts to be funny but instead grossly enacts a social faux pas of such painful proportion that it becomes a new core memory for the speaker.
Wow, the Trump versus Elon beef has soo many crumpet moments in it!
by Donnum June 6, 2025
mugGet the Crumpet Momentmug.

Wet Crumpet

by Spilled April 28, 2019
mugGet the Wet Crumpetmug.

Crumpeting

The act of a woman or person with a clitoris masturbating while laying face down.

Named after Netflix's Sex Education character Aimee, who is shown doing this in Season 1. Afterwards, she tells friends: “I’ve been wanking all night; I ate four packets of crumpets, and I think my clit might drop off."

Crumpeting is the preferred masturbation position of many people because it puts pleasurable weight and pressure on the genitals. There is also a feminist element to the celebration of crumpeting, in that a lot of porn designed to cater to the male gaze shows women wanking on their backs, legs splayed wide so that men can see everything; in reality, plenty of women prefer touching themselves in ways that are less about performing for others and more about genuinely pleasuring themselves.
"Crumpeting is my favourite way to reach orgasm. I like to lay on top of my vibrator with the duvet pulled over me, all cosy."
by CanCanOfWorms September 26, 2023
mugGet the Crumpetingmug.

Sticky Crumpet

When a girl does her hair up in Princess Leia buns and she fellates you and a friend until you both jizz on the buns.
Me and Michael gave my girl a sticky crumpet the other evening.
by Bigjoe22?? December 30, 2021
mugGet the Sticky Crumpetmug.

crumpet strumpet

UK old woman who sits around eating crumpets and flirting excessively online in chatrooms with anyone who will talk to her.
The crumpet strumpet was overly aggressive in chat.
by Goonie's Revenge September 23, 2023
mugGet the crumpet strumpetmug.

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