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Doorstep Crapper

A "doorstep crapper" (or pooper) is a person who does something and then denies it, despite the strong evidence they did indeed.

Comes from the analogy of someone pooping on a doorstep, and upon confrontation says "Nobody's pooping on your doorstep, stop overreacting." Before again pooping on the doorstep later.

Doorstep crappers are hypocritical and act like they are innocent despite being guilty liars.
Example 1:
Person: Hey, Bob, stop stealing my cookies.
Bob: Nobody's stealing your cookies, stop complaining, nobody cares. *proceeds to steal Person's cookies*
Person: I see you Bob, stop being a doorstep crapper.

Example 2:
Kid: Hey, stop copying my work!
Peer: I'm not copying your work! *blatantly copies Kid's work again*
by jims gooning May 1, 2021
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Christmas Crapper

When you take a poop and it comes out a mix of red and green. Typically colored red from blood and green because it's radioactive, or from the food you ate before. Anyways, whether it's radioactive or not, it's much better to drown yourself in Chernobyl than sniff that.
"I took a Christmas Crapper this morning and broke the toilet."

"Kelly took a Christmas Crapper in the hotbox, effectively killing everyone in there."

"Christmas is cancelled after Santa took a big Christmas Crapper at the mall while some kid sat in his lap!"
by girlkisser420 October 20, 2025
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Flopping like a crappie

If I start "Flopping like a crappie" after eating this, you'll know why.
by Jacjoa September 15, 2020
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fishing for crappie

Grandmother: "Excuse me, have you seen my grandson?"
Bass Pro Shops Employee: "FUCK you scared me! Jesus you can't just sneak up to a BPS Employee like that. We're ALL fucking armed. Anyway last I saw him he was back in the Women's Department fishing for crappie. Christ. I don't know how you snuck behind me with that Civil War era walker, but you sure found away past my ample defenses. I don't know whether to fight ya or fuck ya meemaw.
by blackstardust May 7, 2024
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