sex board

A piece of wood (usually a 4x4) used to lift the FUPA, or pannus, of an obese female, or occasionally male, for easier access to the genitalia for sex.

He: hey baby, wanna have sex?
She: yeah, just let me get my sex board so you can get it in.

by ResidentDR November 9, 2013

Special Board

Hidden boards on GameFAQs that cannot be found without going through random numbers or obtaining a link elsewhere. They are the following (board numbers shown):

Brilliant - -1
Nine - 9
Board 250 - 250
Eggbeater - 486
Spork - 542
Spatula - 622
Semprini - 709
Jenny - 8675309
Lame - 20040401
Rnd() - 123456789
Pie - 314159265
Toaster Oven - 909090909

Currently, Toaster Oven is the Special Board with the most topics, with Spork in second.

Secret Boards are 1337.

by GastonRabbit June 24, 2004

diving board

The word often used to refer to the monstrously huge metal bumpers found on the BMW E30 3-series from 84-87. The e30s of the year 1988 also came with d-boards however they were slightly shorter and the plastic bumpers from the 89+ e30s fit without any modification.

If you have an older e30 the plastic bumper swap is not so easy and requires some alteration to fit but nonetheless can look stunning.

D-boards can also be tucked and/or painted. The tucking method involves the owner drilling the bumper shocks and compressing them to make the bumper shorter. Painting the d-boards is also a nice touch and prevents them from making small children cry during the daytime.

"There is a family having dinner on your diving boards."

"Put your sun-glasses on, honey. There's a mean set of boards up the road."

by amaank January 21, 2006

Choc Board

This is a type of sexual innuendo joke such as the dirty sanchez or the blumpkin. This one requires the work of two ppl, usually a female and then a male. The female has to eat some beans, mexican food, or anything that will give her diarrhea. Then you must find a nice diner with a full glass window where people are seated to eat. The girl then drops her pants and pushes her butt against the glass and sprays diarrhea all over the glass. The male follows up by writing disgusting messages in the poo with his pecker for the diners inside, thus you've created a choc board.

Person 1: "So what did you do to those assholes that entered that diner?"
Person 2: "O, well I told them what was up on the choc board".

by BmorePooMasta March 22, 2009

going to the board room

getting fired

getting fired like omarosa

by omarosa April 21, 2004

play the board

In Texas Hold'em, using the five community cards on the board as your best hand, disregarding your hole cards.

If the community cards are all hearts and nobody has one in their hands, everyone plays the board and splits the pot.

by Coell May 14, 2005

go on board, fuck

After the sunk of a Cruiser in the Mediterranean, this is the notorious sentence captured in the phone dialogue between the chief harbor master and the coward captain responsible of this unfortunate event, who abandoned the vessel before all passenger were led to safely.

HM: Captain, could you provide a report of the current situation on board the vessel?
CC: I know nothing, I am not on board anymore.
HM: This is not acceptable! A captain is supposed to leave his vessel only when the abandonment and rescue operation are completed.
CC: Somebody pushed me into a life boat!
HM: Fair enough, now listen to me. You go on board, fuck! And coordinate the operation like a real captain!
CC: But I cannot! I wish but...
HM: My goodness. Captain, are you refusing to go on board, fuck!?
CC: Yes, it is too dark there! I want to go to an hotel and forget all this story.
HM: Listen to me and listen carefully, you go on board now, otherwise I am going to ream your coward ass. Capish?!
CC: OK, I will go on board.

Acronyms:
- HM: Harbor Master
- CC: Captain Coward

by themilfonian March 23, 2012