jesus shitting christ

noun;adjective:
a term used when something is incredibly fucking supprising or when some one or something is:
A.Fucking Retarded
B.Smells like shit
C. or is stoned OFF THEIR ASSES, rolling, or tripping and did or said something incredibly memorable, rediculous, funny, smart.ect.

"Jesus shitting christ! I´m tripping so hard, that i saw the tree from Pochahontas!"

"Jesus shitting christ! did you eat a fucking corpse?"

"Britney was really a virgin all that time? Jesus shitting christ."

by KeViN (nwapsnatas666) September 6, 2006

sweet teen jesus

n. 'swEt 'tEn 'jE-z&s

An adaptation from the oft used sweet jesus showing exclamation, but even more so. The modification uses the rarely discussed 'teen' jesus to enhance surprise.

1. You got hit by a car riding your bike? Sweet teen jesus, that's rough.

2. Sweet teen jesus, that's one good sandwich

by MC Ducats n' Buckets March 10, 2005

You need Jesus!

For when someone is deciding to be a dumb person.

Charlotte: haiuhlssisghj
Shirley: wth?
Charlotte: suygkhjdipdugvciuyhifgvcgiufgh
Shirley: Charlotte, I-
Charlotte: SIYXLKUHIUHKGUODHGJVIUHDB DHODHJVHUODHJVHDUHVDHU
Shirley and Alpen: YOU NEED JESUS!
Charlotte: wha?
Shirley: *SLAPS THE FUCKING BIBLE AGAINST CHARLOTTE'S FACE*

by *cough* hello July 3, 2019

Jesus Breakdancing Christ

An expression of great misfortune, disgust, or suprise. Normally used in the most extreme of circumstances.

See:
Jesus H. Christ
Jesus Tapdancing Christ
Jesus Brick-Shitting Christ
etc...

Jesus Breakdancing Christ! My scrotum is missing! How the hell did that happen!??!?!?!!

or...

Guy 1: Hey, I banged your wife last night.
Guy 2: Jesus Breakdancing Christ! Your ass is grass, motherfucker!

by Mister Joiter October 7, 2007

stevie baby jesus

the man who infact looks like jesus,is small like a baby and has the name stevie. he is equivelent to god but yet stevie baby jesus is an atheist. term first used in 2007 at mosinee middle school.

man #1 dood i went to steve schara's house last night.
man #2 who the fuck is that. the only steve ik is stevie baby jesus.
man #1 thats who i ment man

by THE REAL STEVIE BABY JESUS! December 31, 2008

Jesus hates you

1. a figure of speech meaning that you have bad luck

2. a possible death threat from a guy named Jesus

3. funny to say to a religious person

Person A: Geez man, that's some really bad luck. Shit... Jesus hates you!

Person B: Who's Jesus?

Person A: Not sure... it's just a figure of speech. I think it was the leader of some cult back in medieval times.

by Seal Clubbing Instructor April 4, 2010

Jesus H. Christ

A phrase used to express particular suprise, disgust or shock to an instance, as emphasized by the "H" (which stands for "Holy"). It's used in the same context as "Jesus Christ!", except the H is added to include greater emphasis on the concern.

Note: The phrase is no more-or-less blasphemous than "Jesus Christ"

"Jesus H. Christ, you scared the shit outta me!"

by Alhadis June 17, 2004