Fired

Apparently "NOT DOING YOUR JOB FOR 2 YEARS STRAIGHT" doesn't cause this to happen to you. Nor does running a retard sex cult.

Iam "I keep hearing 'you did this' or 'you did that' but I didn't get fired for 'this' or 'that'. I got fired for 'not reporting retard sex (soon enough)' even though my manager is the one who had it reported to them a year before my firing. I 'violated company policy' (even though it was happening before I even walked in the door and in spite of the fact that I signed paperwork agreeing that no retard sex would be happening there.) A person who participated in the act admitted that it was happening there and that it was 'technically a cult'. They had to hire a plummer to fish a condom out of the pipes. If I had done 'this' or 'that' why would they allow me to get away with it for (literal) years? I'm such a piece of shit that they liked me so much that they were happy to give me free things, do my job for me, let me forgo all of the training and meetings, and allow me to NOT do my job for years? They definitely weren't trying to appease me into silence so I didn't cause problems for their retard sex cult. That couldn't possibly be what was happening there. They couldn't possibly be just saying whatever they feel they need to say to justify getting rid of me. How does that make any sense to you? I'm doing all of this messed up shit (apparently) but nobody cared to do anything about it UNTIL I showed my visible disgust with the bitch that was fucking the retard and she spent my last week there storming out of the house in anger? Are you fucking kidding me!?

by Hym Iam April 12, 2022

Five Knuckle Shuffle

Even more fed up
You're gonna get fed up
You're gonna be fed up
You're gonna see fed up
You're gonna get fed up
Fed Up Fed Up Fed Up
You're gonna get set up
You're gonna go fed up
You're gonna go bed up
You're gonna go sped up
You're gonna be said up
You're gonna get set up
A set up a fed up a set up
I said what a get up
Am fed up Am fed up Am fed up
Am fuckin a fed up
Am fucking my bed up
Amphetamine
Am fucking amphetamine
I've had a lobotomy
A botom a botomy
Am always a victim
Am tired of the victim
A time of the victor
A try to assess me
A try to possess me
Assess possess amphetamine
A friend of mine
Here you are
We're here are two
Are you
You over there
You're the one I am
I am that lazy boy all over take some more

I need some sleep
Just an animal a twisted up animal I want to be left alone
I want that not to assess me not to possess me not to attack me
Not to distract me I even get fed up
Fed up
Don't do this I do this All my friends do this Am fed up
Am fed up I put my feet up I wish I go to sleep
Fed up fed up fed up
Deaded Deaded
Empty bottles makin noise
Alcohol
I can see you fed up
In the corner asking
Gonna be set up all night set up
Fed up
Getting your way with a five pound note

Five Knuckle Shuffle

by Death Menace February 17, 2023

Ninja Five

Stealing somebody else's high five.

Guy one: *Puts hand in the air* High five me!
Guy two: *Goes to high five*
Guy three: *Gets there first* Ha! Ninja Five!!

*Guy two looks like a loser*

by realpaintheory December 9, 2008

Snifty Five

- of or pertainiing to Fifty-five
-the number coming between fifty- five and sixty-five
-a very fucked up number
-a red neck slang

-"...Fifty- Five, Snifty Five, Sixty-Five..."
-"I had five cans of beer yesterday...SNIFTY-FIVE!"

by Spacewiz May 17, 2010

Thigh five

The urge to put your hand between an attractive woman’s legs (thighs) and move it back and forth in a “slapping” motion.

Look at that girl over there; boy, I sure would like to give her a thigh five.

by Granfunk July 20, 2020

Your Fired

The term used by your asshole boss, when you fuck up once. Once the term is you flip him off and continue your work until you are forced to leave.

Tom is working on a potato display.
Tom's boss: Tom your fired.
Tom flips off boss and continues work.
10mins later cop arrives

Cop: Tom your boss fired you and asked you to leave

Tom: Ok, he's just mad I railed his wife yesterday

Tom goes to the office clock's out and signs papers.
Tom's boss: we will send you severance check through mail
Tom flips off boss and says
Tom: dont worry I will see you again, I creamed in your wife and stole he birth control.

Cop hi-fives Tom and escorted him to his car till he leaves
5 years later
Tom goes to old bosses house to pickup kid and flips him off
Tom's boss loves being a step-dad

by Cochieman 456 November 27, 2020

Slaughterhouse-Five

A book by Kurt Vonnegut where this guy named Billy Pilgrim gets absolutely shit on during World War 1, the '60s, and the future all at the same time. During World War 1 Billy over here pissed off this guy named Roland Weary who died on his way to some concentration camps but Roland over here wanted blood so he got this guy named Paul Lazarro to fry his ass. Lazarro does it but he takes his sweet ass time doing it, finally getting around to it in the '70s. In the '60s Billy lives as an optometrist who has a huge wife. Like TLC My 600 Pound Life level weight on that person. She also had the IQ of a lukewarm potato. She got in a car accident on her way to meet Billy in the hospital and her muffler fell off and she died of carbon monoxide poisoning in the parking lot. What a dumbass. In the future, Billy gets abducted by aliens. They aren't the Aliens type of aliens and instead of forcing Billy to give the most aggressive blowjob ever, they hook him up. This Montana Wildhack that they have for him must be some repayment for his fatass wife because she was fine. One thing leads to another and they fuck. The creepy-ass, spider fucked a plunger-looking Tralfamadorians decided to enjoy the show. Then some other shit happens and then Billy dies. So it goes.

Billy Pilgrim got absolutely shit on in Slaughterhouse-Five

by FunLitDefinitions March 8, 2021