The Twat
I once knew a man that was a twat,
He's every thought was that of an imbecile...
He was wholly unjustified in his every word;
When he was in a twatish mood...
Which was exceedingly annoying,
And didn't take anything to start him off...
Save perhaps being content or happy;
You'd think that he was jealous, but this twat was not...
The twat uhh'd and err'd and ahh'd,
Because he was an annoying twat as well...
He passed twatish judgements of events;
And his twat brain got it wrong 100% every time...
He never said please or thank you,
Because he had twat manners too...
And he never gave praise and rarely encouragement;
Because he was an ungrateful twat also...
He preferred the company of fools,
Because they made him look good compared to him...
But only a twat would be so easily pleased;
Like boasting of being a lolly stick stood up in dog shit...
Well; the twat didn't have many friends,
Because.people saw.right through him...
He was fine approximately half of the time;
Which suggests his brain was divided between a twat half and normal...
Quiet why this guy was a twat?
Defies all explanations...
If the best we can do is to just annoy people;
Then that is the most twatish excuse for an existence...
I once knew a man that was a twat,
He's every thought was that of an imbecile...
He was wholly unjustified in his every word;
When he was in a twatish mood...
Which was exceedingly annoying,
And didn't take anything to start him off...
Save perhaps being content or happy;
You'd think that he was jealous, but this twat was not...
The twat uhh'd and err'd and ahh'd,
Because he was an annoying twat as well...
He passed twatish judgements of events;
And his twat brain got it wrong 100% every time...
He never said please or thank you,
Because he had twat manners too...
And he never gave praise and rarely encouragement;
Because he was an ungrateful twat also...
He preferred the company of fools,
Because they made him look good compared to him...
But only a twat would be so easily pleased;
Like boasting of being a lolly stick stood up in dog shit...
Well; the twat didn't have many friends,
Because.people saw.right through him...
He was fine approximately half of the time;
Which suggests his brain was divided between a twat half and normal...
Quiet why this guy was a twat?
Defies all explanations...
If the best we can do is to just annoy people;
Then that is the most twatish excuse for an existence...
Wot a Twat!
by Smeaglez April 10, 2024
Get the Twat mug.The act of Garret'ing a situation. Actions taken that limit the amount of exposed breast in the group chat.
Kayci was excitedly anticipating her bribe payment when someone Twat Swatted her heavenly ordained blessing.
by BajanKing February 25, 2019
Get the Twat Swat mug.Josh: Did you hear Marvin is moving to Dubai?
Gavin: I always thought he would. It is a twat magnet after all.
Hugh: Gavin just graduated and got a job at goldman Sachs
Lisa: Typical! I always thought he was a total arsehole. No wonder he's ended up at that twat magnet.
Gavin: I always thought he would. It is a twat magnet after all.
Hugh: Gavin just graduated and got a job at goldman Sachs
Lisa: Typical! I always thought he was a total arsehole. No wonder he's ended up at that twat magnet.
by Twat_disliker April 12, 2023
Get the Twat magnet mug.
by Twila Magoo July 17, 2010
Get the Tweet-twat mug.by TWAT6 July 12, 2014
Get the indigo twat mug.by king clayton December 31, 2018
Get the Twat Cake mug.