Getting "Wanked"

When you have a friend named "Wanker" and he has a habit of not being around for a period of time. Then out of the blue he just pops up with a wild entrance and suddenly it's a 3 day party. A party you never hate or have a bad time with.

"I planned to get a lot of things done around the house today but all of a sudden I got wanked!"

"I didn't plan on getting "wanked" this past Friday, but 3 days straight later suddenly it was Tuesday"

by anonymous June 29, 2024

wank

Something (to describe as) bad.

What a wank day.

by Vorphy_101 July 9, 2024

Schizo-Wank

Jacking off to a person/character that you’ve made up in your head.

Guy 1: How you doing man?

Guy 2: Not good my man. I’m such a fucking loser virgin that I just had a Schizo-Wank.

Guy 1: Damn you’re down bad man.

Guy 2: Yeah it’s a lonely world man.

by AutonomicAutist July 9, 2024

wank punch

Hitting someone in a manner of which one wanks

Thw man hit so soft, like he was wank punching. Almost seems he was enjoying to much to get hit harder.

by litreb July 15, 2024

Crafty wank

The action of masturbating in a public place, without being spotted.

He would often have a crafty wank under the desk during his history lesson. The other pupils noticed, but the teacher never did.

by DarrenG July 20, 2024

Flakey Bum-Wank

A deviation of the Pokey Bum-Wank where a chocolate sweet is used as a replacement for the finger. The sweet treat is inserted into the anus whilst carrying out the five-knuckle-shuffle to heighten the participants' pleasure. This may also be of benefit to those that have to take emergency action to control their blood-sugar levels due to a diabetic emergency - though there is little medical evidence to prove that this will successfully prevent the patient from slipping into a coma mid-wank.

I am feeling particularly horny having left the gym all pumped up and after observing the lycra-clad lovelies that were also working out. However, I have unsuccessfully kept control of my blood-sugars and need to take urgent action. I think I will kill two birds with one stone and have myself a Flakey Bum-Wank.

by normanstanleyfletcher April 5, 2025

Wanking Waffle Stomper

This is when someone simultaneously jerks off and takes a shit whilst also taking a shower.

Yo, did you hear about that wanking waffle stomper Timmy did last night?

by ThunderBunda April 14, 2025