normanstanleyfletcher's definitions
A short-burst fart that is so loud in it's escape that it sounds like the firing of a cannon or a similar piece of artillery. Multiples of this type of emission could be mistaken for a 21 gun salute.
by normanstanleyfletcher June 2, 2015
Get the Fired on bum castlemug. A man's shorts that are loose around the thighs which, whilst the wearer is seated in a legs-parted comfortable position, allow a half-scrotum to escape from the side into plain view of those directly opposite. These shorts are often old, well worn, piss-stained and grey in colour. The escape of the nut often happens at a meal-time and could be mistaken for a rogue scotch-egg - albeit a hairy one.
For fucks sake Dad... I have brought my new girlfriend around to meet the family and you have had to go and wear your Porn Shorts. She was just talking to Grandma and has been distracted by you left nut hanging like some sick Christmas tree decoration. Those shorts need burning before any more harm is done.
by normanstanleyfletcher August 4, 2025
Get the Porn Shortsmug. A shit that is so large that it protrudes above the water line of the toilet. It is similar in shape and size to an ocean volcano that, following eruption on the sea bed, forces it's summit out through the waves. Like the volcano, there may also be a ghostly mist coming from the peak.
Oh my god, who has been to the toilet and left Mount St. Shit in the pan...? Quick get some climbing irons and a small flag - this climb is going to be a challenge.
by normanstanleyfletcher July 2, 2016
Get the Mount St. Shitmug. A fart that produces a surprisingly loud noise due to the plastic chair being sat on acting as an amplifier.
John was sitting in the Doctor's waiting room when he felt the need to fart. He tried to slip out a silent one but ended up doing a plastic fart. It was so loud an old lady shit herself and two babies started to cry.
by normanstanleyfletcher June 9, 2015
Get the Plastic Fartmug. A high velocity, airborne, ejection of brown matter that is difficult or impossible to avoid. The result is soiled clothing and/or impregnated skin (particularly the face).
Fuck it... I was strimming the long grass in the back yard and the dogs have laid some hidden piles of crap that I did not see. I have hit a steaming pile and I have been hit by the resulting Shit Shrapnel. It is all over my t-shirt and my face looks like I have a thousand brown freckles. It fucking stinks and I think I may have got some in my mouth...
by normanstanleyfletcher September 16, 2017
Get the Shit Shrapnelmug. An activity, usually a long drive to coast, that is taken to relieve the gloom of every day life. Used to lift the spirits, get out of the house, get away from the tv / console and hide from responsibilities.
There is fuck all on tv, the wife is constantly nagging, the baby is crying and the dog has puked on the carpet. Bollocks to the world, I'm taking a long gloom lifter. I will return when I can once again see a purpose to life.
by normanstanleyfletcher July 2, 2016
Get the Gloom Liftermug. When one comes across a female of such great beauty, one is compelled to commit any form of depraved sexual act. Falling to such a low that one would even indulge in drinking the urine of the lady in question from a place that was almost certain to result in pain - in order to reach sexual gratification and impress the girl.
Look at her in her tight top, micro-skirt and high heeled shoes - hair waving in the summer breeze. I would lick her piss off a nettle.
by normanstanleyfletcher November 21, 2016
Get the piss off a nettlemug.