Wank n' spank

is just another fancy schmancy word for masturbation. That's all. Pretty simple.

For linguists who are working on a masters degree or higher that want to dive deeper into this word, it can also be spelled “wank & spank”, “wankenspank” or “wank and spank”

When I'm horny it is tempting to go wank n' spank.

by Bill Beef July 3, 2025

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hoover wank

When Gareth gets a new hoover and because he hasn’t got a woman he uses the hoover to pleasure himself

Gareth was getting excited looking at the new hoover as he anticipated a hoover wank later

by Jessdirty April 20, 2021

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Wanking the dog

To waste time doing something unecessary.

Example: Gary got fired for wanking the dog.

by PotsNPan July 16, 2021

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Crazy Wank

The act of viciously masturbating fully naked for over 5 minutes. Throughout the process the subject uses his hand to stroke his penis to near ejaculation, then the subject relaxes for a bit. Then the subject continued to slightly stroke his penis and then he uses a sex toy (store bought or hand made) and places it in a position where it won't move around a lot and the subject viciously fucks the sex toy until near ejaculation. Then the subject is free to experiment with unusual kinds of sexual acts (ex: finger in the bum, other masturbation teqniques, other kinky fetishs). Then once the subject is satisfied withhimself and ready to ejaculate, he must use up the rest of the lube on his penis and hands, and then it is time for the last hurrah. The subject firmly grasps his penis and then he strokes it much faster and harder and it should give the individual a sensation of both mild pain and crazy erotic pleasure. The individual moans to make the procedure much more impactful and when he reaches the climax, the procedure is complete.

Carl: bro I just haven't jacked off at all recently. I'm just not into it anymore

Eddie: last night I had a CRAZY WANK and I will tell you, I changed my life!

by Derkadurr August 5, 2017

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Schizo-Wank

Jacking off to a person/character that you’ve made up in your head.

Guy 1: How you doing man?

Guy 2: Not good my man. I’m such a fucking loser virgin that I just had a Schizo-Wank.

Guy 1: Damn you’re down bad man.

Guy 2: Yeah it’s a lonely world man.

by AutonomicAutist July 9, 2024

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