wank noodle

A term for the male reproductive organ known as a penis.
Jim cried out in pain after he was struck in his wank noodle.
by ThatPurple July 30, 2017
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1984 Wank

When the you don't have access to porn so you have to use your imagination to masturbate.
Person 1: 'The battery went on my phone while I was trying to find some porn!'

Person 2: 'Gutted for you'

Person 1: 'It's okay I just had a 1984 wank instead. Takes a bit longer but gets the job done.'
by Phillyfella July 22, 2021
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tingle wank

To shit in your own hand and then use it to stroke one out.
I hated myself after having a tingle wank but it feels so warm.
by the david robson July 01, 2011
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Wank 'n bake

When you decide to have a joint or seven with some mates but as soon as they leave and while you're still high you have a wank because you "just want to see how it would feel".
"That was a great j, maybe I should go have a wank 'n bake, you know, just to see how it feels."
by really.im.the.plvg May 23, 2017
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Greebly-Wank

When die-hard fans of a film or franchise create elaborate backstories for things that ultimately had no real purpose, such as greeblys used in production design elements
Look at that absolute nerd, he created a whole Greebly-wank Wiki page on Darth Maul's earring
by Toodarnloud February 08, 2024
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Pink Wank

To wank against/into a pussy
Lauren went home to her boyfriend Sam on Valentines Day and said “Alright chicken dick, fancy a pink wank tonight?”
by DroopingPlant February 13, 2025
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wank flake

When you wank so hard your meatus gets dry and skin flakes off.

Derogatory term for someone below a wanker
Hey Toby your dick is so dry you left wank flakes in the shower

That Toby is such a wank flake
by Brian and so is my wife August 12, 2021
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