Private First Class McBozo, have you loaded loaded all the crates upside down, as we spoke of before?
PFC McBozo: But Sarge, it’s not how I usually stack crates — actually, yes Sir, Seargeant Jihadicus
SGT Jihadicus: Damn straight, as long as we tracking.
PFC McBozo: But Sarge, it’s not how I usually stack crates — actually, yes Sir, Seargeant Jihadicus
SGT Jihadicus: Damn straight, as long as we tracking.
by Jenna Side Theghaiz November 14, 2023
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A caffeine-powered computer whisperer who walks the line between genius and glitch. Damian “Long Shlong” Wood isn’t just a man—he’s a chaotic event wearing human skin. He speaks fluent binary, communes with frogs for wisdom, and believes any disaster can be solved if you just Megazord it.
Profile:
Tech Wizard: Fixes computers by glaring at them until the motherboard apologizes. Once coded a working game using only a keyboard missing the “E.”
Frog Lore Scholar: Claims frogs hold the Wi-Fi password of the universe—and somehow everyone believes him.
Megazord Philosopher: His life motto: “When it’s broken, just Megazord it.” Nobody knows what that means, yet it always works.
Professional Gooner: Operates on pure focus and unholy energy; rumored to have transcended sleep during a 72-hour code-and-Red Bull marathon.
Personality:
Chaotically evil in the most helpful way possible. He’ll repair your router, but it’ll play frog croaks on startup afterward. The man radiates the aura of an overclocked raccoon who discovered enlightenment and decided to major in IT.
Legacy:
Some say he was born when a lightning bolt struck a USB hub; others think he’s a firmware update that gained consciousness. Either way, Damian “Long Shlong” Wood remains a walking reminder that science, chaos, and frog memes can coexist.
A caffeine-powered computer whisperer who walks the line between genius and glitch. Damian “Long Shlong” Wood isn’t just a man—he’s a chaotic event wearing human skin. He speaks fluent binary, communes with frogs for wisdom, and believes any disaster can be solved if you just Megazord it.
Profile:
Tech Wizard: Fixes computers by glaring at them until the motherboard apologizes. Once coded a working game using only a keyboard missing the “E.”
Frog Lore Scholar: Claims frogs hold the Wi-Fi password of the universe—and somehow everyone believes him.
Megazord Philosopher: His life motto: “When it’s broken, just Megazord it.” Nobody knows what that means, yet it always works.
Professional Gooner: Operates on pure focus and unholy energy; rumored to have transcended sleep during a 72-hour code-and-Red Bull marathon.
Personality:
Chaotically evil in the most helpful way possible. He’ll repair your router, but it’ll play frog croaks on startup afterward. The man radiates the aura of an overclocked raccoon who discovered enlightenment and decided to major in IT.
Legacy:
Some say he was born when a lightning bolt struck a USB hub; others think he’s a firmware update that gained consciousness. Either way, Damian “Long Shlong” Wood remains a walking reminder that science, chaos, and frog memes can coexist.
by geggregmed October 16, 2025
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Get the Long ahh dih mug.The long lad is best described as a big gangly streak of misery.Someone fond of super splits that looks the image of the star of Wallace and Gromit, Victor Quarermaine,he generally would lack an ability to play golf and indeed rugby
by Bigsam1 October 11, 2018
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