Murphy's Law of Checkout-Lines

"If you aren't in a hurry to leave the store, there will be little or no delay in getting a clerk to ring you up. But if you're pressed for time --- or even more so, if you're car-pooling with someone who is on a tight schedule --- THAT'S when there will be hold-ups galore... a long line in front of you, a customer with one or more heaped-full shopping-carts, one or more price-discrepancies that hafta be tediously resolved (i.e., the puzzled clerk is obliged to walk back with you to the shelf to look at the price-labels, a supervisor or the store-manager has to be called over), a balky card-scanner, etc."

Whenever someone who's giving me a ride is kind enough to let me stop at a store to grab a few items, I always try to make very sure that I have everything all "set and prepared" before I head to the register, so that I personally seldom create a problem (i.e., cause any delays myself with issues like not having the proper payment ready or being unsure of a price or quantity) with Murphy's Law of Checkout-Lines. That way, even if my driver has to wait linger than expected for me to hastily scamper back outside with my loaded shopping-bags, he won't be able to direct his impatient frustration at me --- "Sorry for the delay; I did indeed get everything tossed in my cart very quickly, but there was a long line in front of me, and they were short-staffed today, so they only had once register open."

by QuacksO October 31, 2019

co-great-pibling-in-law

The spouse of one's grandparent-in-law's sibling.

My co-great-pibling-in-law is a good person.

by Elivaldeq November 24, 2019

step-co-brother-in-law

Spouse's stepsibling's husband.

My step-co-brother-in-law is a good person.

by Wonbig October 13, 2021

Murphy's Pedestrian-Perks Law

Refers to the infuriatingly-common "lousy timing" occurrence of your seldom encountering the usually-hoped-for opportunities/pleasantries (i.e., neighbors relaxing on their front porches/lawns whom you can shoot the breeze with on your way by, pretty girls to hold hands with and "chat up for a few", sizable numbers of discarded returnable containers, etc.) whenever you're out for a stroll or otherwise leisurely traipsing around your local area on foot, yet when you either hitch a ride with someone or are "a man on a mission" in your own vehicle and thus you can't "acceptably" stop to avail yourself of any of these assorted "sidewalk delights", the roadsides you travel along will either be "chock-full of friendlies" or "Bottle/Can City", and so you'll be mentally "climbin' da walls" at having to agonizingly pass on by all of those much-desired goodies.

It was foggy and chilly when I started out walking around town to complete my weekly errands-list, and so there was hardly another soul outdoors, but then sometime later when I was riding back again with a neighbor who'd offered me a lift home, the weather turned clear and balmy again, and there were lots of smiley-faced sundress-clad cuties strolling the walks all over town! Guess it was Murphy's Pedestrian-Perks Law at work!

by QuacksO July 21, 2018

co-third-cousin-in-law

Spouse's third-cousin's spouse.

My co-third-cousin-in-law is a good person.

by JAMP12 September 21, 2021

Southern Poverty Law Center

Civil rights organization that collects information about hate groups. SPLC-affiliated lawyers also file lawsuits to enforce the constitutional rights of Americans who are denied them by the authorities.

As the name implies, beneficiaries of the SPLC include people who are poor, and require legal protection from either racist violence or abusive, indifferent agents of the state.

Bernard Monroe Sr., an elderly black man, was shot to death on his front porch by a white police officer who had entered his house in Homer, La., without apparent justification or a warrant. The Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) filed a wrongful death lawsuit that alleged two white officers created a volatile situation when they entered Monroe's property during a gathering of his family and friends on Feb. 20, 2009.

by Primus Intra Pares June 19, 2010

Biffskippy's Law of Clerical Apathy

In an MMO, the refusal on the part of the cleric/healer to heal someone that consistently screws up.

Also see: Law of Meatshield Apathy, and Law of Crowd Control Apathy.

The warlock that kept breaking CC became the victim of Biffskippy's Law of Clerical Apathy.

The rogue that only cared about his dps, and continually grabbed aggro from the tank became the victim of Biffskippy's Law of Clerical Apathy

by Nzoe February 22, 2011