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a nigel danger wank.....

a nigel danger wank
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Nigel was in his bedroom and he shouted downstairs, Mum(deceased and rotten) call the fucking police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces. As soon as nigel heard her scream he dropped his trousers and commenced the danger wank. As nigel heard mummy stomp up the stairs nigel knew he had to be quick so he upped the pace, as nigel heard her stumble on the top step, which bought him some time. Unfortunately nigel timed his finish badly. As nigels mum barged through the door armed with a rolling pin nigel chugged all over mummy. nigel spent the evening in A&E with concusion.
by mrs tosser October 7, 2025
mugGet the a nigel danger wank.....mug.

Complicated Wank

While juggling 9 cats and eating Doritos? That’s a complicated wank!
by Dudeknowsstuff July 30, 2021
mugGet the Complicated Wankmug.

Wank Station

It is a place where people go to pleasure themselves (wank). It is a location that depends on one's preference, for example for some it could be the shower, bathroom, etc.
Yo, Vlad, where have you been?
I was taking a shower!
Really?
Aight, to be honest I was at the Wank Station!
Wow, you are such a shower wanker, man!
by wanking May 11, 2017
mugGet the Wank Stationmug.

Gang wank

get into a circle and beat your meat with your right hand with your left you help beat the person next to You’s meat all of you finish into a cup the person who finishes last drinks it
What did you do today?

I had a gang wank with Leo and jack
by Azsw January 2, 2020
mugGet the Gang wankmug.

Cricket Wank

A bit like the stranger but wearing your batting gloves and your favourite teams bucket hat
His missus was away and his team had won so he celebrated with a cricket wank
by Mungki_ September 15, 2024
mugGet the Cricket Wankmug.

Climate Wanking

When politicians or the elite complain about climate change and how the world is coming to an end, and essentially use it to get votes from people who care or as a crutch for NOT talking about actual problems the world faces.
Keith: Dude, I have been so busy, I have not read anything about the latest G20 Summit, have you been following?

Mike: Ya, it is the same Climate Wanking all the time. I wish they would talk about China running the world economy, or how to get people back to work.

Keith: Ugh, Climate Wanking, such a waste of time. No wonder everyone hates these politicians and condescending celebrities. Talk about real world stuff, bruh.
by Mike109999 November 2, 2021
mugGet the Climate Wankingmug.

a nigel suicide speed wank

when your having a wank just before blowing your mayonnaise load, shout out Mum!!!!(diseased and rotting). bring my dinner up please, then try and finish the job before she gets into your room
by mrs tosser October 19, 2025
mugGet the a nigel suicide speed wankmug.

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