SPECIES - Redtards are a group of carnivorous homo sapiens in the genus Mullet family. They reside in the southern USA, are highly territorial, prefer open grassland, high fructose corn syrup and have an inverted mathematical relationship between their years of education and the number of offspring they bear.
CULTURE - Redtards subscribe to the notions: the repetition of unsupportable concepts inherently transforms them into fact and “if Jesus said it, da-gummit, dats bowt good 'nuf fer us”. Redtards tend to hide from the light in FoxNews holes and can be identified roaming the woodlands chanting arcane war cries of "drill baby drill" as a solution to the global energy crisis and believe that the recent frost in their hayfield invalidates the irrefutable science of global warming.
MARKINGS - The markings of this species are the absence of teeth, barb wire tattoos or the billowing of red/white/blue fabric planted in front of their trailer dwellings. Borderline Redtards can validate their inclusion if they have more than one Jeff Foxworthy box set, and can deadeye three of five tin cans with standard gauge buck shot from a distance of four Camaros or more.
MATINGS - Redtards tend to mate within two degrees of their immediate genealogy, preferring to do so in four-wheel drive vehicles with mounted weaponry. This species, long believed to be headed toward extinction, is instead propagating at an unprecedented pace and thereby poses an immediate threat to the universe.
CULTURE - Redtards subscribe to the notions: the repetition of unsupportable concepts inherently transforms them into fact and “if Jesus said it, da-gummit, dats bowt good 'nuf fer us”. Redtards tend to hide from the light in FoxNews holes and can be identified roaming the woodlands chanting arcane war cries of "drill baby drill" as a solution to the global energy crisis and believe that the recent frost in their hayfield invalidates the irrefutable science of global warming.
MARKINGS - The markings of this species are the absence of teeth, barb wire tattoos or the billowing of red/white/blue fabric planted in front of their trailer dwellings. Borderline Redtards can validate their inclusion if they have more than one Jeff Foxworthy box set, and can deadeye three of five tin cans with standard gauge buck shot from a distance of four Camaros or more.
MATINGS - Redtards tend to mate within two degrees of their immediate genealogy, preferring to do so in four-wheel drive vehicles with mounted weaponry. This species, long believed to be headed toward extinction, is instead propagating at an unprecedented pace and thereby poses an immediate threat to the universe.
Glen Beck is such a redtard! He said that the recent snow in his front yard must be "global cooling" because global warming is a scam.
by hello world champion February 11, 2010
Get the redtard mug.Boss: do secretaries do laundry too?
Secretary: some secretaries don't even do their OWN laundry, so dont ask retarticle questions!
Boss: do u mean retarded or rhetorical?
Secretary: combination of both
Secretary: some secretaries don't even do their OWN laundry, so dont ask retarticle questions!
Boss: do u mean retarded or rhetorical?
Secretary: combination of both
by Chendawg522 January 5, 2008
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by Big boy can February 25, 2018
Get the retarded thick mug.1. One who acts like a tardo but is not certifiably retarded.
2. You have your suspicions but you just can't prove they are indeed retarded.
2. You have your suspicions but you just can't prove they are indeed retarded.
by TB_26 February 27, 2009
Get the Tardo Retardo mug."Yoooo, check out that Fat Retard!"
"Mike, you're a fucking asshole. He goes to the gym right after his night classes. Atleast he's trying to improve himself. You know, man. I haven't said much 'cause it's not my place, but I'm pretty sure Jessica left you because of how much of an insensitive asshole you've become. And honestly, it's making it hard to be your friend aswell. But we've been best friends since 5th grade. Ride or die, bro."
"Not that, dipshit. I was talking about the drink he was holding."
"Mike, you're a fucking asshole. He goes to the gym right after his night classes. Atleast he's trying to improve himself. You know, man. I haven't said much 'cause it's not my place, but I'm pretty sure Jessica left you because of how much of an insensitive asshole you've become. And honestly, it's making it hard to be your friend aswell. But we've been best friends since 5th grade. Ride or die, bro."
"Not that, dipshit. I was talking about the drink he was holding."
by Vanargarand August 11, 2020
Get the Fat Retard mug.When that drunk fuck pissed in the sink, the bouncer yelled at him for like ten minutes after throwing him out. That bouncer really gets off on Ghost Whipping Retards....
by Buck Futt February 23, 2010
Get the Ghost Whipping Retards mug.A Raetard is in reference to a person who, has the name Rae or Raelene. This person is slightly challenged mentally and believes that they are able to send evil leprechauns to chase Jesus.
by Maddy777 January 22, 2010
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