Turd burglar

An individual who has the annoying habit of making a scene outside the stall while you’re trying pop a deuce in order to get you to hurry up. Turd Burglars show up typical when you’re in public bathroom in a busy location and someone very impatient shows up and decides to interrupt your shitting session.

>You: answering nature’s call in a public bathroom like a normal person

> Turd burglar: “ Hurry up mister I need to go, I NEED TO GO!!!” X 50 on loop until you finish pushing your slimy turd

by Thicke Henry Richard September 8, 2020

Registered turd

A person who gives unsolicited medical advice to someone who is actually working in the medical field.

Describes a non-registered nurse, unlicensed medical need, who doesn’t realize they look like an ignorant ass.

That registered turd had the nerve to point out my cold sore and tell me to treat it with tooth paste and tape.

by anonymous November 30, 2022

shelf turd

A beer or alcoholic beverage can or bottle (we do not discriminate) most likely brought to your home in a shitty variety pack and has sat for multiple months or years collecting dust in your old refrigerator that won’t seem to die and now just be drank, frankly because you ran out of coors light and cannot seem to let it go to waste.

Out of good beer, you ok with a shelf turd?.?.?

Meg, I guess it’s better than nothing?

Nah, grab me something

by Holly M Schultz September 2, 2023

swamp turd

A swamp turd is someone who is slow mentally and physically

Carol: Bob your such a swamp turd.
Bob: Oh Jesus Christ carol here we go again. Just because I have toe fungus doesn’t make me a swamp turd.
Carol:Bob your a swamp turd because you clench your butt cheeks when you run. Not because of your toe fungus

(Bob’s way of running is walking with a small skip)

by rat_excavators July 16, 2021

Turd Barge

A term used for an individual who deserves to be compared to a floating peice of shit.

Will: "Ted must be manstrating, he is acting like a real turd barge today"

by Laflamablanca18 June 8, 2018

Turd

An endearing, silly term for a friend or loved one who did something silly, goofy, or weird/not right.

You turd, I can’t believe you ate the last piece of cake!

by EBEnezer scr00ge October 6, 2025

Dickshart Shame Smellington the turd

Another name for Richard James Ellington the third. He’s very good at procrastinating and somehow (cheated) pulled off a four in AP seminar. Richard is really good at predicting the future (because he’s an alien) ((looks the same too)) Richard smells like cheese and likes to cheese me. He is super gay and loves scissoring with Duane. Amen.

Are you Dickshart Shame Smellington the turds girlfriend?
No, his heart is taken by Duane Jauns. 😔
Damn.

by anonymous December 8, 2023