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Turtle

The best pet you can have. Fuck dogs, fuck cats, fuck birds. They are the best. They are small and cute and they live 150 FUCKING YEARS so you dont need to worry about "He died because he was old". I have one called Miss Pauling and she's the best pet I had.
Girl:Do you have a pet?
Boy:Yes
Girl:Wich one?
Boy:A turtle
Girl:I want to suck your penis
by You care about this? May 26, 2018
mugGet the Turtlemug.

turtle

A more subtle name for herpes. The name of someone who studies turtles is a herpetologists. Therefore, herpe- in the name relates to a more subtle way to talk about herpes.
Seth: Dude, my condom broke while I was fucking Sarah.
Alex: Bro!! She's got the turtle!!
Seth: Oh Fuck!!
by Bassproman November 2, 2015
mugGet the turtlemug.

scram turtle

a scram and an awkward turtle, in one. the most socially awkward, scrammiest person you can think of.

scram: A punk bitch. A snitch. Someone who is probably going to end up getting fucked up. Someone you don't chill with...ever.

awkward turtle: A word used to discribe the gesture made by your hands after a line or series of lines have been spoken that have now resulted in an uncomfortable silence. A motion performed by stacking one's hands on top of one another, extending the thumbs and rotating the thumbs slowly. Performed after a friend has said/done something awkward, either to ease the tension or further humiliate the friend. And silence ensues
Jordynn stop being a creep, you scram turtle
by j holee September 6, 2009
mugGet the scram turtlemug.
Men who ride Harley's or other cruising type bikes, who wear turtle shell style helmets because they are not driving fast enough to need a full helmet usually. And they ride on a bike that has had custom steering handles installed. The handle bars are usually raised an additional 10 to 12 inches, making the rider appear to be hanging from a monkey bar.
"How bout that turtle shell on a monkey bar, his tiny helmet had huge skulls painted on it and he was barely able to hang onto his monkey bar because it was almost too high..."
by BOSS*bitch June 11, 2015
mugGet the Turtle Shell On A Monkey Barmug.

turtle

electing for a more antisocial option when presented with an invitation
bro 1: "dude do you want to come over tonight? stacy will be there and she's bringing a ton of hookers and lots of blow"
bro 2: "nah, dude, i'm not really feeling up to all that social interaction -- i think i'm just gonna turtle and go home and play GTA"
by handlejandle January 31, 2016
mugGet the turtlemug.

Turtle time

The immediate need of a bathroom for the purpose of expelling a bowl movement which has already begun it's exit. Resembling a turtle head poking out. Reference Austin Powers as Fat Bastard in "the spy who shagged me"
I been needing to poop but can't wait any longer! It's Turtle time!
by Stygmatik November 27, 2019
mugGet the Turtle timemug.

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