half-hour clock technique

noun: a clock-watching form of procrastination, in which the procrastinator schedules the "start time" of a dreaded task based on the next "half-hour" mark of the clock. For example, if the clock reads "1:35", a procrastinator employing the half-hour clock technique will start the task when the clock strikes "2:00", usually filling in this time gap with activities such as web surfing and masturbation. The technique is popular amongst perfectionists, numerologists, the obsessive compulsive and unemployed spectrum of procrastinators.

Hey, it's 4:47. Did you finish writing that cover letter?

Actually I did not. I was waiting till 5:00 to start. I'm using the half-hour clock technique.

by 77jim April 8, 2011

Five Point Exploding Ass Technique

Derived from the Five Point Exploding Heart Technique used at the end of Kill Bill 2. Used to refer to a bowel movement that sprays rather unpleasantly into the toilet, leaving an aweful mess to clean up. Frequently encountered the morning after a night of heavy drinking which was followed by a suspicious curry.

Argh, I had the most horrific Five Point Exploding Ass Technique this morning! Damn that curry!

by Oofnun September 1, 2010

1-2-3-4 Study Technique

1. Drink an energy drink, preferably something strong like NOS
2. Look through your notes as fast as you can, regardless of if you can actually read it or understand it.
3. Bust a Nut (tm).
4. Take a nap.

Repeat steps 3 and 4 as necessary.

Also known as the 3-4-3

"Have you heard of the 1-2-3-4 Study Technique?"
"Yeah dude, in fact, I'm going to do a 3-4-3 right now before my chemistry test!"
"Awesome!"

by Erik Ward October 3, 2007

Recovery Position - Jessica Ankle Cross Technique

When rolling an unconscious person from their back into the side recovery positions, raise their near-side knee up and cross that ankle over the opposite leg - this simple ankle cross will make the person roll over easily and could safe their life by preventing aspiration of vomit. This is called the Jessica Ankle Cross Technique named after the medical doctor who demonstrated it.

He's really big, if you don't use the Recovery Position - Jessica Ankle Cross technique you'll never be able to roll him into the Recovery Position after be became unconscious.

by First Aid Skills and Whatnot March 10, 2020

Delay Technique

What a guy conjures up in his head to stop from coming too soon.

I was with this smoke show last night, and one thing led to another, and we were having sex. Luckily, I've got a great delay technique - I just think about my sweaty gym teacher in high school. Adds at least another 5 minutes.

by Mr. Dyche March 27, 2025

A I U TECHNIQUE

The A I U t technique is a power calling ritual that can be used while battling
It can also end the universe

He used the A I U TECHNIQUE to gain power!

by R0ckoM3mer May 14, 2020

Self-Blumpkin Technique

The self-bumpkin technique is performed by first waiting 7-10 days without taking a shit, and then when finally shitting, curving the large feces toward you, under your balls, up from between your legs, and into your dick. You then suck the shit back in and out of your ass, repeating this movement until ejaculation. This technique results in euphoria, as well as chlamydia, herpes, HPV, gonorrhea, and syphilis. Also you may notice black discharge from the urethra 2-12 hours after performing this technique.

It is told that performing this technique 7 times can result in ascension to a higher plane of spiritual existence, however no one has survived the process more than 3 times.

“Dude, I’m about to try the self-blumpkin technique! I’m 6 days in without shitting!”

“Bro I wouldn’t do that. I tried it 4 years ago and there’s still black shit in my dick.”

by Rusted Sounding Rod April 29, 2025