half-hour clock technique

noun: a clock-watching form of procrastination, in which the procrastinator schedules the "start time" of a dreaded task based on the next "half-hour" mark of the clock. For example, if the clock reads "1:35", a procrastinator employing the half-hour clock technique will start the task when the clock strikes "2:00", usually filling in this time gap with activities such as web surfing and masturbation. The technique is popular amongst perfectionists, numerologists, the obsessive compulsive and unemployed spectrum of procrastinators.

Hey, it's 4:47. Did you finish writing that cover letter?

Actually I did not. I was waiting till 5:00 to start. I'm using the half-hour clock technique.

by 77jim April 8, 2011

Five Point Exploding Ass Technique

Derived from the Five Point Exploding Heart Technique used at the end of Kill Bill 2. Used to refer to a bowel movement that sprays rather unpleasantly into the toilet, leaving an aweful mess to clean up. Frequently encountered the morning after a night of heavy drinking which was followed by a suspicious curry.

Argh, I had the most horrific Five Point Exploding Ass Technique this morning! Damn that curry!

by Oofnun September 1, 2010

1-2-3-4 Study Technique

1. Drink an energy drink, preferably something strong like NOS
2. Look through your notes as fast as you can, regardless of if you can actually read it or understand it.
3. Bust a Nut (tm).
4. Take a nap.

Repeat steps 3 and 4 as necessary.

Also known as the 3-4-3

"Have you heard of the 1-2-3-4 Study Technique?"
"Yeah dude, in fact, I'm going to do a 3-4-3 right now before my chemistry test!"
"Awesome!"

by Erik Ward October 3, 2007

Recovery Position - Jessica Ankle Cross Technique

When rolling an unconscious person from their back into the side recovery positions, raise their near-side knee up and cross that ankle over the opposite leg - this simple ankle cross will make the person roll over easily and could safe their life by preventing aspiration of vomit. This is called the Jessica Ankle Cross Technique named after the medical doctor who demonstrated it.

He's really big, if you don't use the Recovery Position - Jessica Ankle Cross technique you'll never be able to roll him into the Recovery Position after be became unconscious.

by First Aid Skills and Whatnot March 10, 2020

The Dong technique

The art of the dong. Known only to the most sophisticated of human beings. Of the highest order. Just reading this you question your existence for not knowing this art.

Man 1-Have you heard of The Dong Technique?
Man 2-What’s that?
Man 1-I see...

by TheManOfDong July 21, 2019

Cranberry Technique

adv; to wrap dental floss around the head of a penis very tightly and then induce orgasm. Called the cranberry technique because the head of the penis resembles a cranberry oddly enough.

I tried to cranberry technique my mans last night, only ended up with half a shaft left.

by The octopoos October 1, 2016

Hannover technique

Hannover technique is a technique of loading a car onto a truck when the towing hook on the car is broken or missing.
Using this means you destroy the hood of the car, because the hook of the towing car is hooked to the hood to pull the car up the ramp.

This Is a better alternative that connecting the hook to the axle, because that would wear down the cable.

Jonas: Oh Jennifer's car broke down? How did they tow it? I thought her towing hook was broken.

Manuela: oh yes it is broken. They used the Hannover technique.

Jonas: doesn't that destroy the hood?

Manuela: oh yes it does. You should've seen it

by MrSnapli94 September 12, 2020