Soft Pretzel

The equivalent to whiskey dick. When you're so drunk and your mind is ready to fuck but your dick doesn't cooperate no matter how hot or perverted the girl is.

I couldn't get my soft pretzel in her box so I put it in her mouth instead.

by Chuck Schick February 18, 2010

Wet Pretzel

When someone is being extremely lame, or inconveniencing you. Much like finding a bowl full of soaked pretzels in your kitchen sink.

John, don't be such a wet pretzel.

by boltonfanforlife March 28, 2015

fo schnitzel my pretzel

a word used to agree with someone . commonly used by people of the sickest nature or descent.

nick: heyy man are you going to sleep with her?
polo: fo schnitzel my pretzel, shes really hot

by james polo November 22, 2007

put her in a pretzel

When u put a girl legs behind her head and f#ck her

My ex said to put her in a pretzel last night

by Uejnejjejjje March 24, 2017

Chocolate-covered Pretzel

Sticking your hand down your pants and wiping on your ass. The offending hand is then used to handle a victim's goods and/or to shake their hand.

Offender: There's that guy I hate...
Friend: What you gonna do?
Offender: Offer him a chocolate-covered pretzel!

(Offender wipes his hand on his brown eye)

Victim: Hi, how are you?
Offender: Fine thanks, you?

(They shake hands, mission accomplished)

by n3ptun0x May 30, 2006

Dick Pretzel

When two men tie their penises together to make a pretzel shape.

Man1: Do you wanna make a Dick Pretzel later tonight.
Man2: Sure but only if you bring the mustard.

Man1: Man, I'm really in the mood for a Dick Pretzel
Man2: Eh I would rather have a chumbler

by waka floka September 6, 2010

Mud Pretzel

My god, I cannot believe this has not been defined yet.
The effect of too much anal and not enough vaginal. The penis will warp upwards, downwards, to the right, or to the left, or any variation of these. Many male pornstars who specialize in the butt experience this later in their career

Porn Executive: I'd sign you, but I'm afraid you have a mud pretzel.
Porn Star: A mud pretzel; what's that?
Porn Executive: Beats me, it hasn't been defined yet.

by .Woody April 12, 2009