Alaskan Uncrustable

A person with lots of ass hair who has trouble wiping; shit-encrusted ass hair.

“Dude, why does Kaleb smell so bad??”
“You didn’t know? He’s got one of them Alaskan Uncrustables.”
“We should get Kaleb a bidet.”

by SylverZephyr March 14, 2022

alaskan trampoline

A sex move, in which a man throws a woman on edge of the bed and thrust his penis in her vagina whilst motorboating her tits.

She had such huge tits I couldn't stop my self from giving her an "alaskan trampoline".

by AlaskanMan June 8, 2016

Alaskan Blowdryer

When you shit on someones face and blow on it while eating cake.

Yo man my girl just gave me an Alaskan Blowdryer.

by FartFuckington December 18, 2018

Alaskan Volcano

When ones partner positions themselves on all fours, and the other partner smears cocaine on an enflamed hemorrhoid until it numbs. After losing total feeling in the sphincter nugget, the partner proceeds to bite down on the snow coated bulge until it explodes in his/her mouth.

I went to 18th street and asked a hooker how much would an Alaskan Volcano cost. After explaining what it was, the hooker said about tree fiddy.

by Blame The Clown February 20, 2018

Slappy Alaskan

A sexual act involving at least one person with a penis in which the performer engages the penis in an act of oral sex until the penis is sufficiently erect. At which point a full mug of freshly brewed hot chocolate is poured upon the erect penis after being promptly removed from the performer's mouth. This is then followed by excessive striking upon the erect penis in an aggressive slapping motion.

Guy 1: Hey bro, how'd your date go?
Guy 2: It was wild dude, we went back to her place and she gave me a slappy alaskan!
Guy 1: Awesome bro! How'd it feel?
Guy 2: Fucking terrible dude! I have third degree burns and bruises all over my dick and balls!
Guy 1: That's bogus dude, totally un-radical.

by Fapples December 6, 2022

Alaskan Baptism

When a girl squirts in your face when ur eating her out aka Alaskan baptism

“Yo this girl just gave me a Alaskan baptism”

by Weldzy cigs September 15, 2023

alaskan pizza

the act of orgasming on a partner's face who has bad acne in sub-freezing conditions such that the semen freezes instantly on the face, resembling the cheese and pepperoni on a pizza

"It was so cold last night, my boyfriend made me an alaskan pizza."

by NaCL Words September 15, 2021