half-hour clock technique

noun: a clock-watching form of procrastination, in which the procrastinator schedules the "start time" of a dreaded task based on the next "half-hour" mark of the clock. For example, if the clock reads "1:35", a procrastinator employing the half-hour clock technique will start the task when the clock strikes "2:00", usually filling in this time gap with activities such as web surfing and masturbation. The technique is popular amongst perfectionists, numerologists, the obsessive compulsive and unemployed spectrum of procrastinators.

Hey, it's 4:47. Did you finish writing that cover letter?

Actually I did not. I was waiting till 5:00 to start. I'm using the half-hour clock technique.

by 77jim April 8, 2011

Five Point Exploding Ass Technique

Derived from the Five Point Exploding Heart Technique used at the end of Kill Bill 2. Used to refer to a bowel movement that sprays rather unpleasantly into the toilet, leaving an aweful mess to clean up. Frequently encountered the morning after a night of heavy drinking which was followed by a suspicious curry.

Argh, I had the most horrific Five Point Exploding Ass Technique this morning! Damn that curry!

by Oofnun September 1, 2010

1-2-3-4 Study Technique

1. Drink an energy drink, preferably something strong like NOS
2. Look through your notes as fast as you can, regardless of if you can actually read it or understand it.
3. Bust a Nut (tm).
4. Take a nap.

Repeat steps 3 and 4 as necessary.

Also known as the 3-4-3

"Have you heard of the 1-2-3-4 Study Technique?"
"Yeah dude, in fact, I'm going to do a 3-4-3 right now before my chemistry test!"
"Awesome!"

by Erik Ward October 3, 2007

Recovery Position - Jessica Ankle Cross Technique

When rolling an unconscious person from their back into the side recovery positions, raise their near-side knee up and cross that ankle over the opposite leg - this simple ankle cross will make the person roll over easily and could safe their life by preventing aspiration of vomit. This is called the Jessica Ankle Cross Technique named after the medical doctor who demonstrated it.

He's really big, if you don't use the Recovery Position - Jessica Ankle Cross technique you'll never be able to roll him into the Recovery Position after be became unconscious.

by First Aid Skills and Whatnot March 10, 2020

black technique

When you go take a shit at work just to look at memes.

If you want to look at memes at work use the black technique

by MountainChicken November 28, 2017

The Hamper Technique

The evasive position for an organisation who's received a complaint.

The purpose of the hamper technique is to deliberately misinterpret a person's complaint in order to avoid acknowledging that something has gone wrong.

(Often used by companies, councils and government departments / services.)

1. I complained to the bicycle company because after I paid, they sent me a bike without peddles. They emailed straight back to say they were investigating my complaint that I had bought a banana from them and didn't like the taste. Two days later I got an "official" closed complaint letter which explained that they did not sell bananas so it they did not hold any responsibility for the taste of bananas. The Hamper Technique in Effect!

2. I contacted my local hospital for a copy of their complaints procedure after they stitched me back up with a pair of scissors left inside my stomach. Three weeks later, I was sent a summary of my complaint which stated that I'd complained about the number of stitches they used. (The Hamper Technique).

by Davina Los-Defino May 5, 2018

seaside technique

its a sex. thing.

"THE FUCKS THE SEASIDE TECHNIQUE" "its a sex. thing."

by hi babe. real. October 21, 2021