something corporate
Imagine if you will, the boardroom of some major record company. Sat around the main table are many suited men, the suited men of the roll around in money, eat gold for breakfast type.
Suit 1: Oh no, we're not making enough money! Sales growth has slown to only 23%.
Suit 2: Drastic action is needed, or i will not be able to afford to build my solid gold house!!!
Suit 1: OK, What do these kids want?
Suit 3 (head of marketing): Well, they want more of this pseudo-rebellion, punk stuff.
Suit 4: We've got on the last count 12,034 of these bands, and they all sound the same. Why don't we try something new?
Suit 1 discretely presses a silent alarm, guards walk in and drag Suit 4 out of the building. Gunshots are heard outside.
Suit 1: So its settled, we need another band which sounds exactly like every band we have on our books already!
Suit 2: The cloning process has already begun.
And so Something Corporate is born. Offering more generic pseudopunk pop then every other band out there. Pushing out the boundaries of blandness.
Suit 1: Oh no, we're not making enough money! Sales growth has slown to only 23%.
Suit 2: Drastic action is needed, or i will not be able to afford to build my solid gold house!!!
Suit 1: OK, What do these kids want?
Suit 3 (head of marketing): Well, they want more of this pseudo-rebellion, punk stuff.
Suit 4: We've got on the last count 12,034 of these bands, and they all sound the same. Why don't we try something new?
Suit 1 discretely presses a silent alarm, guards walk in and drag Suit 4 out of the building. Gunshots are heard outside.
Suit 1: So its settled, we need another band which sounds exactly like every band we have on our books already!
Suit 2: The cloning process has already begun.
And so Something Corporate is born. Offering more generic pseudopunk pop then every other band out there. Pushing out the boundaries of blandness.
The fact that people like Something Corporate means that the Western world has no hope for the future, and that the terrorists have already won.
something corporate by bastardo_bill June 5, 2004
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