asparagus meaning

an underwater purple cow with neon green stripes and a huge boner that helps it move

Lukas: hey look at that dick!
ryan: thats asparagus meaning

by cool A October 1, 2019

morning goblin

When an ugly girl, who wears a ton of makeup in order to look attractive, wakes up in the morning she is said to be a morning goblin. The makeup invariably rubs off during the night or is otherwise removed, revealing the girls 'true' appearance.

Dude, that chick you hooked up with last night was a total morning goblin!

by Jethro Tull October 9, 2007

Good Morning Gamers

Pewdiepie's heavenly intro to his minecraft videos. This is like God saying "let there be light". Once you hear it you can never not hear it. It just keeps ringing in your head.

Mom: Honey, wake up!
Me: GOOOOOOD MOOOORNING GAMERRRRRRS!!! It's a beatiful day in Minecraft.
Mom: I am sending you to mental health care school ok?

In Mental Health Care:
Me: Good morning gamers!!!!!!!!!
Doctors: We have an Avengers level threat.

by bamboomaster September 9, 2019

One Morning Stand

A variation of One Night Stand and ejacuvate, only in the morning, like say before school in her BMW. After the fact, these two will suffer a day of either awkward looks or sensual stares, depending on their relationship. The author has only suffered the former unfortunately, but in due time...

Friend: "So how'd it go with Nicolette this morning, didn't you need to get a ride from her?"
One Morning Stand...er: "Actually I was the one who gave her the--"
Friend: "The ride? Goddamn are you predictable, so you fucked her...in her car...before school started?"
OMS..er: "Yep...I'll be back, I have cooking next, so I should probably wash my hands, I don't think anyone wants FISH in their stir fry....do you get it, huh?!"
Friend: "....god I hate you"

by Irish Wolf April 20, 2006

pure morning

One of placebos greatest songs.

A friend with weed is better.
-Placebo-Pure Morning

by Metal26freak August 9, 2007

Monday morning syndrome

Monday morning syndrome, also referred to as MMS, is a severe medical condition in which one has bad events occurring one after another. It is suspected that the root cause of MMS is the first day of the week (Monday). There are speculations on how to cure one's MMS, however nothing is medically proven to be 100% effective. The first home remedy is to sleep though this day and bypass the root cause entirely; however is not recommended to those with full-time jobs. Few have gotten medical excuses from work for this, others simply extend their weekend and make Monday the new Sunday; thus creating a new problem on Tuesday.

Symptoms | Head aches, Sleeping through alarms, drowsiness, being late for work, bad traffic, clumsiness, short-tempered... etc.

Solution | Please consult a physician before trying any natural cures.

Employee: excuse me, Mrs. Power.
Boss: Yes bob ?
Employee: I cannot come into work this Monday, the doctor says I have a bad case of MMS, and I should take the week off.
Boss: MMS?
Employee: yeah, she says Monday morning syndrome is a very serious condition.
Boss: oh okay, you had better take the summer off

by Dr. CrustyPimple, MD April 14, 2013

life is meaningless

ah yes, mine too. instead of doing something more important than this, i'm typing this and you're reading this.

fuckeddisshittius: oh damn, life is meaningless smh

by ThatLesbianThatStoleYourGirl September 25, 2019