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Crumpeting

The act of a woman or person with a clitoris masturbating while laying face down.

Named after Netflix's Sex Education character Aimee, who is shown doing this in Season 1. Afterwards, she tells friends: “I’ve been wanking all night; I ate four packets of crumpets, and I think my clit might drop off."

Crumpeting is the preferred masturbation position of many people because it puts pleasurable weight and pressure on the genitals. There is also a feminist element to the celebration of crumpeting, in that a lot of porn designed to cater to the male gaze shows women wanking on their backs, legs splayed wide so that men can see everything; in reality, plenty of women prefer touching themselves in ways that are less about performing for others and more about genuinely pleasuring themselves.
"Crumpeting is my favourite way to reach orgasm. I like to lay on top of my vibrator with the duvet pulled over me, all cosy."
by CanCanOfWorms September 26, 2023
mugGet the Crumpetingmug.

Sticky Crumpet

When a girl does her hair up in Princess Leia buns and she fellates you and a friend until you both jizz on the buns.
Me and Michael gave my girl a sticky crumpet the other evening.
by Bigjoe22?? December 30, 2021
mugGet the Sticky Crumpetmug.

Crumpet

The art of falling asleep when you have a obligation, like to do a destiny 2 raid or schoolwork
Hey man I totally just pulled a crumpet in my statistics class
by liTTLEMAN545 November 21, 2019
mugGet the Crumpetmug.

Crumpet muffin

The thing kids say to be cool instead of saying mother fucker.
by Yolo beast yolo loo April 24, 2014
mugGet the Crumpet muffinmug.

Rolly Crumpet

To take a poo or make stinky chocolate on the ground while waiting in the line at Walt Disney world to ride a ride or see an attraction publicly infront of everyone.
That kid just made a Rolly Crumpet! I guess he was waiting in line too long and couldn’t hold it in anymore .
by 420D-Portkid November 26, 2023
mugGet the Rolly Crumpetmug.

Crumpet

Pass me a crumpet

I identify as a crumpet
by Tom whithout a k June 17, 2020
mugGet the Crumpetmug.

fuck crumpet

Female: The ugly bitch everyone fucks at the local fett house but no one ever admits to fucking, aka. the bitch that is hella eeew but is a great fuck

A man with hella gut an balding with a two hair cheek mole but swings that fat Meat Bat so good you let him Digg any day.
Who that? Bro back the fuck up off my “Kool Aid” dog that’s my Fuck Crumpet ”.

Omg girl the nigga right there is sleepy girls fuck crumpet. The Hershey let’s him put pecker to puss any time cuz he hung
by Coli J February 11, 2022
mugGet the fuck crumpetmug.

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