drunk detective is a phenomenon experienced by millions of teens and people in their twenties, occurring the morning after consuming alcohol to the point of "blacking out". drunk detective is the process by which one figures out what took place during the previous evening after the stage of blackout drunk began. drunk detective can be applied to a wide range of questions from something minuscule like "how did I get from the chair to my bed?" all the way up to "am I in fucking mexico? why do I have a forehead tattoo?" it can also refer to an individual undergoing the drunk detective process. Some experienced drunk detectives like to think of drunk detective as a game.
veteran drunk detectives note almost unanimously that the most valuable tools in drunk detective mystery solving are your cell phone's call history and texts sent and received during the correlating blackout drunk, as well as pocket contents especially receipts.
veteran drunk detectives note almost unanimously that the most valuable tools in drunk detective mystery solving are your cell phone's call history and texts sent and received during the correlating blackout drunk, as well as pocket contents especially receipts.
bro: "what happened to you after McGrath's last night?"
other bro:"I don't know bro, I can't even remember leaving, I have some serious drunk detective work to do"
other bro:"I don't know bro, I can't even remember leaving, I have some serious drunk detective work to do"
by uncreative2 June 15, 2014
Damn. Loretta is a drunk land whale. I had to run out the club, without paying my tab to save my life.
by Logan0787 April 09, 2023
Damn, Loretta is a drunk land whale. I had to run out the club, without paying the tab to save myself.
by Logan0787 April 09, 2023
Vaping only when intoxicated.
by mermaidmamamilker October 26, 2023
Someone who is not so drunk that they can call an Uber or Lift driver or taxi driver, and who has the means of paying for the driver.
Anne will be the designated drunk driver since she has an Uber of Lift app on her I phone and never is so drunk or poor that she can't call and pay for one. Also Anne would never leave any of us behind, or anyone drunk with the keys to a car.
by mlhiss April 19, 2020
by NauticalOcean February 05, 2024
by NauticalOcean February 05, 2024