wank theatrics

The images played out in your "wank bank" as you proceed to knock one out

Imaginative stimulation when there is no pornographic material to hand

( 2 very attractive ladies walk by) .... Those 2 hotties will be lezzing off in my wank theatrics tonight

by Mr blue March 11, 2016

wank mittens

The proper term for noncey boxing gloves.

Look at that ponce lace up his wank mittens.

by Loafingwafu October 17, 2017

wank wipe

A name of a tissue you use to wipe away your sperm

After I finished masturbating I used a wank wipe to clean up me genital area

by Upstairsdragon December 19, 2013

wank cycles

When you tactically bat one out so that you'll last longer should you be lucky enough to get some action later on.

Josephina: Wow, honey! You lasted much longer than your standard 45 seconds tonight.

Esteban: Yes, dear. I got my wank cycles right today in the hope of having prolonged sexual intercourse with you this evening. Thanks for noticing. Two minutes is a new record.

by Handsome_Cat April 19, 2022

wanking to the poll

to push to the limit, to bring to the very end.

guy 1: holy shit! your doing 60 mph!
guy 2: thats nothing. i havnt even begun wanking to the poll.

by neotreo December 24, 2007

Flag Wanking

Someone whomst is a Member of the British Conservative party who wants everyone to pledge allegiance to the flag of the UK.

Boris Johnson enjoyed **Flag Wanking** in parilament today.

by Oure April 21, 2021

highest wanking officer

Man with vague military pretensions who goes out of his way (usually in a somewhat obnoxious manner) to make sure you know about it. Served, but only with minimum effort possible in order to claim the bragging rights. Probably never got shot at.

"Ooh, He's a military man. Cool, right?"
"Dude, He was a Chef in the TA for a few months. Bit of a highest wanking officer if you ask me."

by roverdose September 28, 2022