How Christians Read the Bible

By presupposing it's truth and then create a narrative that is parallel to the text and then accepting this adjacent narrative AS TRUTH... Regardless of what the text actually says.

Hym "And then what they do is believe the narrative that is constructed around the text... In spite of the FACT that it is a manifestation of their own mind. So, it doesn't matter WHAT YOU SAY... As long as the conclusion is that the religion is both true and good. And it looks something like this:

Dr. JeepJorp "Flabbity florbity flip flop! Everyone KNOWS that flabbity florbity flip flop and that = the Bible true and good!"

Sheeple "Hey! I'm everyone! You're right! I know that, I mean, come on. Do you think I don't know that flabbity florbity flip flop? Everyone know it!"

Hym "And that's how Christians read the Bible."

by Hym Iam June 14, 2024

Christian Siren

A female who is extremely attractive, but also very religious. Wears a purity ring , but claims she's sexually frustrated . Lures men into a relationship only to convert them into fellow Bible Thumpers . Will always talk to you about religion in hopes of making you more religious/convert to Christianity. She will do things like make out and maybe an OTPHJ .

Stan: "Bro did you see that new chick Janet, she's fucking hot as shit, I'm gonna try to get at that !"

Lee: "Nah dude, bad idea"

Stan: "Why? She's a total 10"
Lee: " Dude, that chick is a Christian Siren"
Stan: "Oh, Fuck That"

by Dr.Vadgers September 20, 2015

Christian

Christian is the name of a vey sweet boy who at first appears gentle and loving. He will make you feel loved and seen, even the parts you didn't want to be seen. His love comes off as so genuine you open up and allow yourself to be vulnerable to Christian, but later rather than sooner, he betrays, lies, and manipulates you, he hurts you in every emotional way possible and makes you doubt if he ever really loved you at all. The worst thing about Christian is he does not hold himself accountable to any of his actions, but at the same time thinks the world revolves around and his petty nature.

You see that guy over there? Oh yeah, Christian? He resembles a marine creature.

by Azzari February 1, 2022

Christian Foo

5 year old squeaker that likes to play "Soft toys" the soft toys he meant is probably the sussy toys for woman, He likes to spam her ex Valentina Budiman just to draw an art for him, Christian Foo often blocks other people but not girls. He does nothing but scream in the mic for balls.

Christian Foo? More like christian food 😳😳😳

by JoeBalls69 November 23, 2021

christian

Christian is very gay

Christian is Gay

by ryder gay May 29, 2022

Christian

A hot fuckking god with a large penis. Loves 69. Who could ask for more? He is always funny and nice. One of the smartest in the class. He'll always be there for you no matter what happens. He can be annoying like anyone, or that you don't need him sometimes. But the absence of him drives you insane. He's been through more then you could imagine, but when your in his arms, it just feels safe because you know you have him to guide you. Christian is a very sporty guy.
But even as friends he's perfect. He will ditch even a girlfriend that tries to mess with you. You could be in love with him and see him with another girl, but as long as he's happy you're happy. Yet if he's mad at you, you feel so ashamed and as if your a burden. Over all, hes the person that you haven't lived till you see him. AKA Girls bestfriend. Everybody loves Christian and he´s dick :)

Christian is defined as a God, Girls bestfriend and a Legend

by i have a Crush on Christian December 12, 2016

Christian

They love Jesus. Yeah that's it. At times, homophobic people like to go by this name as well as Pedophiles, but the normal ones are ok.

Nick: Karl, Are you Christian?
Karl: Yeah, why :D?
Nick: But you know i'm gay right?
Karl:...ok, and?
Nick: I thought you guys hate us
Karl: nah idk who started that stereotype

by Ijustwantedtowritesomething May 3, 2024