wow, i feel like shit, why did i drink so much!? the only thing that can help me now is a hangover wank!
by jimmykay47 June 05, 2011
this is often an old shirt or towel which a frustrated bloke beats his meat on to so his milky tears of human love don't stain his favourite aunts mattress
jesus i could do with strangling the one eyed monster!! where's my wank blanket??....yes auntie i'll be down in a minute
by POWER B May 14, 2003
After experiencing a sad moment in your life and you try to cheer yourself up by having a wank but you get no pleasure out of it
My mum just died and I have been wanking for ten hours now and it doesn't even feel good, I just want to feel something. I wish I wasn't having a depressed wank
by Dictionaryvision April 18, 2017
An AO3 tag used in fanfics, often smut, where the author would be flattered to know the reader got off to their work.
by Dethna November 14, 2021
hey whats he doing with that plank of wood
i think he's gona use it to stop anybody going into his room whiles he's doing stuff, he calls it his wank plank
i think he's gona use it to stop anybody going into his room whiles he's doing stuff, he calls it his wank plank
by dec457 April 06, 2011
The act of placing your hand in a freezer for an extended period of time and then proceeding to masturbate. Often used by Alex Birtwistle..
by Penthouse9 February 14, 2015
When you're participating in nofap and you begin to over sexualise things, like apple pies and peanut butter sandwhiches, it's time for a maintenance wank. This keeps your inner sexual deviant at bay, while also reducing the amount of awkward boners you might experience.
Guy 1: "I keep getting stiffies when I see anything that vaguely resembles titties or a vagina, it's killing me."
Guy 2: "Mate, it's time for a maintenance wank. If you don't let off some pressure, your dick is going to take over."
Guy 2: "Mate, it's time for a maintenance wank. If you don't let off some pressure, your dick is going to take over."
by Zima69err July 13, 2016