crunchy bernard

When you buttfuck someone, pull out, let their shit harden on your dick, then they give you a blowjob

Hey man, did you see the girl I went home with last night? I gave her a Crunchy Bernard

by Dave-Landon March 23, 2019

crunchy brain

someone who comes up with genius ideas that are ultimately stupid

making a glory hole in a cardboard square for social distancing is crunchy brain activity

by kaheehee October 5, 2020

Crunchy poptart

An unwashed, dry, semen caked-up vagina.

After a long night at the gangbang, her crunchy poptart gave my penis road rash.

by DirtyDenimDawn March 5, 2018

crunchy bucket

When you nut on a girls butthole and she doesn't clean it off.

She's digging in her butt like she's got a crunchy bucket.

by CrustyBucket June 4, 2016

Crunchy g

N.: Environmentally conscious person who is serious about leading a healthy, natural lifestyle. Crunchy as opposed to chewy ( as in granola bars ) due to high level of commitment to reducing environmental footprint even if that means sacrificing enjoyment or taste.

Adj.: having the characteristics of a crunchy g

Man, Laurie and Larry sure went all Crunchy G after moving to Portland.

by Childe Harolde March 6, 2012

crunchy uncle

When a torny is horny and he has an open belly. Also a chocolate bar and a cereal

Look at that horny torny he is such a crunchy uncle

by Horny torny February 23, 2019

crunchy asshole

A nasty and abnormally crisp anus as a result of a variety of things (toilet paper, shit, hair, etc.). Use "crunchy asshole" when fuck just won't cut it.

You fucking crunchy asshole.
That shit's nastier than a crunchy asshole.
This is fucking worse than eating out a crunchy asshole.

by angryelephant March 5, 2019