wee b4 wank

when you piss before having a wank so that you don't piss yourself

John: "Hey bro wanna have a wank 1v1, you know the rules!" Andrew: "Sure man but wait a sec I need to wee b4 wank."

John: "Oh shit go for it, this isn't a golden shower."

by bluscouttf2 December 9, 2023

Ruby wank

Wanking while on your period.

"Just had a quick ruby wank, made a right mess"

by Beezus37 October 1, 2017

Hanky Wank

When you jerk off or get a hand job that makes you cum hard you scream so loud your bro in the next room cums too from a context orgasm.

Dude, whatever porn you were watching last night caused a straight up Hanky Wank. I’d say get some headphones but that shit was hot.

Bro if you won’t let me watch can you at least be really noisy so I can Hanky Wank along with you?

“Can I have a good old fashioned?”
“Okay honey, but we have to be quiet or our teenager will be Hanky Wanking again…”

by doctordual639 February 29, 2024

Wank 'n bake

When you decide to have a joint or seven with some mates but as soon as they leave and while you're still high you have a wank because you "just want to see how it would feel".

"That was a great j, maybe I should go have a wank 'n bake, you know, just to see how it feels."

by really.im.the.plvg May 23, 2017

fat wank

the urge to release thy juice from the beast

john: how was your day
me: not good i need a fat wank

by hbdsuhfbu May 6, 2021

Wank muppet

The sock you use to cover your cock which catches your cum when masturbating.

He is such a wank muppet!

by Christophlambpie August 15, 2023

Deliveroo and wank

The apotheosis of living for the modern middle aged family man. Netflix and chill, for husbands who have long ago abandoned both erotic frisson and euphemism.

"The wife's away, so I'm going to treat myself to a Deliveroo and wank."

"You mean..."

"Yes, a lukewarm curry followed by furious self abuse."

by bighairyotter August 10, 2021